Fieran’s eyebrows rose, but he raised his head.
She settled into a sitting position on the pavers with her legs stretched in front of her and her back against the bench behind her. Her rear end would go to sleep if she sat like this too long, but it was worth it.
Fieran eyed her, then he lowered his head onto her lap with another soft moan, as if even that much movement hurt.
Pip wasn’t quite sure what to do with her hands. She tentatively lowered one hand to rest on Fieran’s shoulder while she kept the other planted on the ground next to her.
Fieran reached up and clasped the hand she’d placed on his shoulder. “Are you all right? None of this has been easy on you.”
“I’m okay, I guess.” Pip leaned her head against the bench behind her, blinking at the tears threatening to rise once again. “It was just…really hard. First I saw your aeroplane fall from the sky. And then Merrik’s aeroplane flew overhead, burning. He crashed, and when we pulled him out…it was bad.”
She sucked in a shuddering breath and squeezed her eyes shut. Yet that didn’t help. All it did was call up the memories of Merrik’s dacha lifting him from the wreckage. Laying him on the ground. Merrik’s pale face. His mangled legs. So much blood.
“Pip.” Fieran’s fingers touched her cheek as his other hand squeezed hers.
She shook the memories away and forced her eyes open.
Fieran’s gaze was searching her face. “I’m sorry you’ve been going through so much, and I’ve been too drugged and wrapped up in my own recovery to be there for you.”
“It’s all right.” Somehow, Pip’s other hand—the one not clasped in Fieran’s—found its way to stroking the short strands of Fieran’s red hair. “You fell out of the sky. You probably shouldn’t even be alive. You needed to focus on healing. I’m not so fragile that I couldn’t get by. Besides, I wasn’t alone. My brother was there for me, as were the other flyboys.”
“I’m glad.” Fieran’s smile tipped his mouth in a way that made her think about that kiss they’d shared. Or almost shared? It had been so brief it didn’t really count.
But now probably wasn’t the time for kissing. Not that she didn’t want to kiss Fieran. But their relationship was more than just about kissing, and right now she needed to know the foundation was solid before she thought about kissing again.
“So…” Pip ran her fingers through his hair as she cradled his head on her lap. “Where does this leave us? We were talking aboutus, but then the attack, and you crashed, and…I just need to know where we go from here.”
“Pip.” Fieran lifted a hand again, brushing the back of his fingers across her cheek. “When my aeroplane went into its death spiral,youwere my only regret. Yes, I regretted that my parents and siblings would mourn. I regretted that I wouldn’t be there for the Half-Breed Squadron. But I knew I’d loved my family well. I knew I’d done my best for the squadron. But when it came to you, I had so many regrets. I’ve made so many mistakes.”
She stilled. Fieran’s touch on her cheek sent tingles through her.
“Inevershould have made you feel like a distraction.” Fieran’s gaze remained locked on hers, the look in those blue depths arresting. “I was treating you like a mild flirtation that I could just brush aside for a while. But you are more than a mere distraction. You deserve so much more.”
Her mouth went dry, and she couldn’t have said anything even if all her words hadn’t fled her brain like a flock of starlings taking off.
A flirtatious, grinning Fieran sent flutters to her stomach. But a sincere Fieran was the kind of man she could truly fall in love with.
Fieran rolled into a sitting position, his hand dropping from her face though he didn’t let go of her hand with his other one. Once he was upright, he met her gaze. “I want to do thisright, Pip. I want a relationship like the one my parents have. Like the one your parents have. I want to see if we can have that together. Because you are the most amazing, clever, tough, smart woman I’ve met, and I think I’ve been falling for you since the moment I saw you head-down in an engine.”
All Pip managed was a breathless, squeaky sound. She really should say something. Anything. She peeled her dry tongue from the roof of her mouth, trying for a light tone. “I know just howmuch you’ve been falling for me. You told me. Sang it for me, actually.”
The look of utter confusion that wrinkled his forehead and widened his eyes nearly had a giggle bubbling up inside her. “I did what?”
“You sang a ditty about how much you loved me. With your dacha sitting there and witnessing the whole thing.” She had to bite her lip to stop her giggles at the horrified look on Fieran’s face.
“I’ve been hoping those hazy memories were dreams.” He grimaced. “How badly did I embarrass myself?”
“Terribly, I’m afraid.” Pip leaned closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Though I think your dacha was the more embarrassed.”
Fieran groaned and leaned his forehead lightly against hers. “Next time I’m drugged out of my mind, just gag me or cover my mouth or something.”
“I wanted the ground to swallow me at the time but now…” Feeling rather brave, Pip brushed her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Now I find it hilarious. And rather cute. Even while you were drugged, that’s all you could say the moment you saw me. That you love me.”
“It’s high time that not-drugged me tells you that I love you.” Fieran lowered his voice until he was speaking nearly at a whisper. “And that I’d really like to kiss you.”
She wasn’t quite sure which of them started the kissing. Maybe him. Maybe her. A spark lit in her chest and burned through her, stealing all her senses except her sense of him.
She tugged him closer, molding herself to him. But instead of deepening the kiss, he gave a pained groan that had her immediately pulling back. “Sorry, sorry. I forgot.”
