As we walk through the market, Ethan calls out, “Fluffy.”
“Fluffy?” Verig asks.
“He’s named them,” I explain. “He names all the animals he encounters. Go ahead, Ethan. Tell Verig and Sojek what the other tumeks’ names are.”
“Cotton, Fuzzy, and Snowball.”
Verig looks at me for an explanation. I shrug. “He’s six.”
“And your gorja is Spiney,” Ethan adds.
“I never thought to name him.”
“Everyone needs a name,” Ethan says so nonchalantly that I have to strain not to laugh.
“He’s not a person,” Verig says. “But you may be right, youngling. Everyone deserves a name. Even a gorja.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
VERIG
Inever expected to feel such relief at finding the human youngling. He’s not mine, but I would work hard finding any youngling in danger. Orc, human, bantaran, moxxel…even vint. Younglings are innocent. They represent the goodness of their species until their elders poison their minds and hearts.
The more I speak with Tansey, the more I understand why she did not want me to bring Ethan to Mount Racha. My people do not care for humans. We’ve only begrudgingly accepted the human females because they are the only means to continuing our species. Even though we will no longer be pure orc over time, our traditions and culture will remain.
And yet we cannot ignore the culture of the females we accept into our settlement…and our beds. I look at Ethan and his bright blue eyes. He’s curious about the animals in Pen’Kesh and totally innocent of the dangers here, as any youngling would be.
I cup the back of his head as his mother hugs him to her. I cannot—will not—fail them.
You need to stop punishing yourself.
“Punishments make us stronger,” I whisper to Tansey as we walk through the market. “This is what I told your youngling.”
“I think there’s truth in that, but there’s a point where we stop learning and we merely suffer. There’s nothing to be gained from perpetual suffering. I wish you’d understand that.”
“I’m not punishing myself.”
“Maybe you don’t see it, but others do. Me, even your grak.”
“Atox spoke to you of this?”
“It’s why he gave me that knife. Not to use against an enemy, but to get your attention.”
My grak employs interesting methods. But he has a human mate, so perhaps he understands them better than I do.
“I think you’re punishing yourself because it’s easier than moving on. I’ve been there. Blamed myself for the actions of another. Made excuses. Told myself everything I could because the idea of moving forward scared the shit out of me.”
I can’t imagine Tansey being afraid of any situation. She may appear human on the outside, but she’s very orc.
“Mommy said a bad word.”
“Cover your ears, Ethan. This is a private conversation,” Tansey says.
The youngling looks at me as if I can help him.
“Did I not just speak with you about listening to your mother?” I say.
He cups his hands over his ears.
