I cannot return her, and she doesn’t want her son here. I need to find a solution. This female needs her son as much as…as I need her.
“I wish to understand your journey here. A neld must gather the facts before he advises his grak, or he risks making matters worse.”
“I see goodness in you, Verig, in how you fight for your people, how you care about them and your laws. You’re nothing like Nash, except in one way.”
“Tell me.”
“You detest kids, human kids specifically.”
Her words strike like a knife to the gut. “What makes you say this?”
“The comments I hear all the time from the other orcs. About how human males are insignificant, weak, duplicitous, little more than gorja dung. Those were your words, seconds ago. Words you say when you’re not thinking of bonding. Honest words.”
I’m beginning to wonder if the translation chip the bantarans installed in me is failing. “How do you come to believe this?”
“You told me to accept never seeing my son again. It doesn’t work that way. There is no forgetting a child.”
No, there is not. But I would never ask of her, or any parent, to forget their child. I do not know why Tansey thinks I asked her to forget her son.
Then it strikes me. After she refused to perform risha with me, she accused me of trying to keep her from her youngling. I’d thought of Veeya, of how I’d never see her again. I tried to convince myself that if I had more younglings, then the pain would lessen and I could forget about the youngling I could not save. But that will never happen. I will never forget her. Nor do I wish to.
Vekk me, I must have spoken my thoughts out loud. It’s possible Tansey thought I spoke of her youngling, instructing her to forget him. One look at the hurt in her face confirms this.
Haaka and Veeya are with the gods now. There is nothing I can do for them. But Tansey…I have a chance to be with a female who is well-suited to me, and I’ve already failed her by not finding a way to return her to her son.
As we exit the tunnels, the smoke from the cooking fires reaches us. One whiff of the ashen scent and I remember how thick, black smoke filled Orcos’ skies as one by one the ships with our females and younglings aboard exploded.
The need to throw up nearly overwhelms me, but I will not embarrass myself, especially before my female. I grind to a halt.
“When I spoke those words, my thoughts were elsewhere. You will never forget your child, and don’t let anyone tell you to. Especially me.”
Tansey says something, but I don’t hear her words as I charge into the woods. An orc should not walk away from his mate, but she isn’t mine, and she never will be until I prove myself to her. Her first mate failed her, as I failed my Haaka.
I must be the protector and provider she needs, or I will lose Tansey. And I cannot survive another loss.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
TANSEY
“Verig?” I call after him as he races off. He looks like he’s going for a run, which I’ve seen him do many mornings. But this is different. He’s upset, though not at me. For me, I think.
Maybe I was wrong about him. He seemed sincere when he said he never meant to tell me to forget Ethan—that I should never listen to anyone who tells me to forget him.
I follow his footsteps until they completely disappear in an area of woods I don’t know. I’ve ventured in many directions, never going too far from the main camp because I feared getting lost, or worse, being caught by Baloq alone. As determined as I am to return to New Earth, I have to be smart about how I do it. Kovos is an untamed, undeveloped planet with strange flora and fauna that can kill. I’m no good to Ethan dead.
But right now, my concern for Verig drives me farther into the gloomy woods. The treetops touch one another, forming a blanket that blocks out most of the sunlight, leaving the area cool, dark, and foreboding.
I hear a high-pitched, crisp cracking sound, followed by a slight thud. The sounds repeat, drawing me in.
This is foolish.I’mfoolish for chasing after an orc, but that’s the crazy part. I’ve never been drawn to another person, never cared about another. Only Ethan. And here I am, ignoring my intuition that says to return to the settlement because I need to find Verig. Need, not want.
Like I need to be with Ethan.
I’m not precisely torn between the two. I can’t be. I’m Ethan’s mother. No one will ever love or look out for him like I will. But Verig…Damn, there’s this vulnerability to him that he’s trying so hard to hide. I’ve seen the goodness in him, the male who strives to do what’s right for all his people…and me.
Why would he want to bond me when there are a few unmated orc females here? They are gorgeous, probably more so to an orc’s eyes. Tall, lean, muscular bodies, with long dark hair and tusks that are, dare I say it…sexier than a male’s even. Something about how the tusks curve near the tips gives the orc women a greater range of facial expressions. I guess that’s nature’s way of enabling them to tease and attract a male. And I’ve watched those females do just that as they pass Verig.
His eyes never remain on them. They gloss over the women as if they are nothing more than numbers to be accounted for, people for whom he’s responsible as their leader. His eyes always, and I mean always, settle on me. And stay there. Since the first time I saw him…while I ‘belonged’ to Baloq.
