But a wall has formed between us. I’m torn about whether I should go with him to Zyan or stay on Earth. It’s not like moving to another city where I can always hop a bus to return if things don’t work out. He lives across the fricking universe!
“I have two days left on Earth. Will you spend them with me?” he asks.
“Are you sure you want me to? I mean, you haven’t touched me since your first night in my apartment.”
In seconds, he lifts me from my chair and sets me on the counter where he leans in, hands on either side of me. “Shall I take you here and now, Kenzie, because I’ve thought of nothing else since I met you. I’ve wanted nothing more than to touch you, to be inside you, but I’m not sure I can without claiming you with both cocks. I’ve never used my mating cock and I’ve heard the drive to leave my seed inside a heartmate is often too strong to resist.”
I run my hands down the soft scruff on his face, marveling at how perfect touching him, being with him, feels. Why can’t I just say yes to this wonderful man?
“Drekk, I love when you touch me.” He closes his eyes briefly then opens them bearing down on me with a new intensity. “When you spoke about blue balls the other day, I didn’t truly understand what you meant. Now, my balls are so filled with my seed they’re dark purple and I’m ready to explode.”
That’s exactly what I needed to hear. He still wants me! More than ever, I need this male, and yet I’m scared to leave Earth.
“I’m a messed-up pain in the ass, aren’t I?”
“You have an adorable ass and you are not a pain, my sweet sholani. Far from it. This is not an easy decision. If I could, I’d decide for you to spare you the worry and fear, but only you can look in your heart and decide what will make you happy.”
“Youmake me happy.” The words spill from my mouth.
“But you are not ready to leave your world.” His frown makes my stomach twist.
Why the fuck can’t I say I’ll go with him? And then it hits me.
“I grew up very sheltered, Kobrik. It took me years to acclimate to living on my own, and that was because I didn’thave a choice. When the Coalition discovered my father was helping the resistance, they stormed our house. I hid behind a false panel in a closet, like we’d practiced. They never found me, namely because no one knew I existed. You don’t tear a place apart looking for something that doesn’t exist, right?”
“This is why your parents sheltered you.”
“Yes. Women had no rights. To education or anything. Anonymity was my best protection. My parents taught me what they could at home, but my home became my prison. I never went outside, except the one time.”
“Is this when your brother was executed?”
I nod. “He was arrested at school, though I had no way of knowing that at the time. I hid in that secret room for days, waiting for someone to give me the all-clear, but it never happened. I emerged days later to an empty house. Lunch still sitting on the table. It was as if time had stopped.
“I waited in our home for weeks, alone and frightened by every noise. When the food ran out, I was forced to leave. The world I’d only seen once before terrified me, but not as much as realizing my parents and brother would never return.”
Kobrik reaches for me but I hold up a hand. I have to get the words out. “I was seventeen. Old enough to survive on my own, but I had to overcome the fear of going outside. I had to learn how the world worked and find a way to educate myself, so I could earn a living instead of selling myself as many women ended up doing.”
Strong arms embrace me. “I knew you were brave, but this… Afanzi siv allula akani sil tuk, mis sholani.” He says in what I presume is Zyanthan. “I’m sorry for the loss of your family and the struggles you’ve endured.”
I want to stay wrapped in his warmth forever, and completely forget the past, but I can’t. It’s what drives me forward.
“It’s taken me years to learn how to be independent and not let the fear drag me under. And now you want me to move to an alien planet where everything will be new all over again, except more. The language, the culture, the food, the rules.”
His forehead touches mine, his warm breath cascading over my face and down my neck. It’s exceedingly intimate, conveying so much of who he is.
“I will not pull you from your world. If you still want me, and I pray to the gods you do, my sholani, I will find a way to stay on Earth, even if I must break my vows to my people and my world.”
I throw my arms around him. For as much as I want him to stay with me, I won’t make a criminal of him. I won’t destroy him.
Kobrik’s comm vibrates and after a few seconds he tears his attention away from me. He taps the device.
“Warrior Vardell,” Major Collins’ voice comes over loud and clear. Andannoyed. “Your request has been denied. Your assistance is no longer needed on Earth.”
Kobrik anticipated that I’d want to stay, and he took steps to remain here. All because ofme. I’m astounded and falling head over heels for this man.
“Your ship must launch within the next forty-eight hours,” Major Collins adds.
My stomach knots at the thought of Kobrik leaving. When I tug on his arm, he mutes his comm.
