“Uh. Because I like you? And I care about you? And I’m not just using you for sex?” I let out a small laugh. “Listen, if you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to.”
“No!” She vehemently shook her head. “I dowant to.Sobad. More than you realize.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Because, Dakota, I can’t do it without first telling you something. IthoughtI could, but I can’t. It doesn’t feel right.”
“What is it, babe?” I asked sweetly, and stroked her hair.
“Promise me you won’t laugh?”
“I promise I won’t laugh.”
“Okay.” She drew a breath of air and murmured, “I haven’t done this before.”
“Done what?” I murmured.
I knew exactly what she meant, or at least I thought I knew what she meant, yet I couldn’t believe it.
“This,” she said, her eyes insistent. “I’m a virgin, Dakota.”
22
Ready
Ottavia
The athlete froze, looking like he’d been chiseled out of stone.
“A virgin?” Dakota repeated at last, a hesitant smile curling his lips.
Ugh.
That apprehensive look on his face was exactly why I didn’t want to tell him. I could already tell I’d ruined everything. I was so mad at myself that I couldn’t just be and actnormal—but wasn’t that the story of my life?
“Wow. Ottavia,” he murmured.
“Please don’t make a big deal out of it,” I begged him.
“I’m not. I’m just—surprised. I had no idea.”
“Well,yeah,because I didn’t want you to know.”
Confusion scrunched his face. “Then why did you tell me?”
“Because I was being weird. And then you sensed me being weird. And then I sensed you sensing me being weird. And then I got way too inside my head, and the mood went to hell.” I blew out an anxious gust of air. “I just wanted you to know that it’s not you; it’s me. I’m a little nervous, that’s all. That’s why my heart’s racing, and that’s why I was acting weird.”
He gave an understanding laugh, wrapped his thick arms around me, and squeezed me up in a tight hug. “It’s okay, Ottavia. Thank you for telling me.”
I grumbled. “I didn’t want to—”
“But I’m glad you did.” He grazed my cheek with his knuckle. “If you’re nervous, we don’t have to do this. We can wait.”
I shook my head. “No! I’ve waited long enough.”
He bit his lip, torn. “But don’t you want your first time to be special?”
“Who says this isn’t special?” I countered. “I like spending time with you, Dakota. I have so much fun when I’m with you. I feel like we can talk forever, about anything at all. You make me laugh. And you’re so sweet to me.” I rolled on top of him and straddled him. “So,I’dsay it’s still special. Because I like you.” I paused, feeling vulnerable. “Unless, of course, you don’t actually like me?”
