“Well …yeah?”
“Tavi!Still?” He bubbled with laughter. “I thought forsureyou’d be getting stuffed with cock at Stanford!”
“Stuffed?!” I squealed. “Gross! And no!”
“Hold on, didn’t you tell me the other day that you had a few flings?!”
“Yes, and I did,” I mumbled. “They just … didn’t lead to sex.”
“Then that’s not a fling.”
“So there has to be sex for it to be called a fling?”
He bobbed his head. “Absolutely, yes.”
“If it’s not a fling, then what should I call it?”
“A thing.”
“Fine. I had a fewthingsat college. But no flings.”
“And now you’ve had athingwith Dakota.”
“Yeah, well, I think that’s over.”
Leo, growing silent, looked to be in deep thought.
“I’m sorry I never popped your cherry, Tavi,” he said out of nowhere.
I laughed. Hard. “God, are you kidding? If you had, I think I’d be evenmoremessed up, knowing what we both know now.”
“But at least if you’d gotten it over with, you’d realize how much you’renotmissing out on. You’d be content to spread your legs for guys like Dakota, let him paint your insides with his seed, and move on to the next horny idiot without any messy feelings getting in the way.”
I gasped, both shocked and amused by his perspective. “Leo!”
“No, really,” he insisted, chuckling along with me. “It’s true.”
Amidst our laughter, though, a tinge of reflection sliced through me. Leo’s words were convincing, amusing, and funny. I knew they likely held truth for many people. But deep down, I couldn’t ignore a nagging feeling.
That’s still not what I want out of my life.
And if being jaded, and accepting a life of superficial encounters, were prerequisites to being “happy” in an arranged marriage?
Then Istilldidn’t want it.
Leo and I continued to make each other laugh, having patched up our agreement. But deep down, I felt more alone than ever.
15
End This Thing
Dakota
Two weeks later.
We’d long lost count of the score. But in an off-season scrimmage, the score doesn’treallymatter, because everyone’s going at half, or even quarter effort.
Until the very end of scrimmage, that is, when the announcement is finally shouted:
