All I could do was explain that we worked together, and I didn't want to get myself into any hot water at work … and they seemed to understand.
But ever since that night? I dunno. I don'tregretwhat I did. I think it was the right decision.I think.But … I just feel empty. Like I was built up for something. And then it didn't happen.
Worse—I felt like it would've been easier if I'd just gone ahead and fucked Hunter that night. Because then it would've beenoverbetween us.After we fucked, he could go straight to ignoring me, because that's what important guys like him do when they hook up with small-time girls like me. And then I would despise him, and he wouldn't respect me. And that'd be that. We could both get on with our merry lives.
But I hadn't fucked him. Instead, I'd stopped him. And ever since, I couldn't stopthinking about him.
In fact, I couldn't stop playing the same scene through my head: his hulking body between my legs, rubbing his big, long,harddick against the crotch of my panties—until I was dripping wet. Then, arrogantly, he'd yank my panties to the side and rub his throbbing cock along my slick folds.
Gulp.That was hot. But it was hotpreciselybecause it couldn't happen, because it wasn't what I really wanted,andbecause it was incredibly wrong. And even in my dirty fantasies, he never actually fucked me—he just teased me with his penis. Cruel and delicious irony.
Still. That didn't change the fact that I'd been soworked up and horny since that night. Nothing could satisfy me. Playing with myself just made me want the real thing—which I knew I couldn't have. In the end, I was one big, frustrated ball of sexual tension.
Besides. After I rejected Hunter? I figured he'd never talk to me again. He'd probably do what most guys did when they were turned down—flip a switch and suddenly loathe me with every fiber of his being.
***
“Honor? Honooooor?” Madison sang. “It's your turn to bowl, sweetheart. You're holding everyone up.”
“Oh! Sorry, kids.” I jumped out of my seat and grabbed a bowling ball. I heard Madison not-so-quietly whisper to another girl while I readied myself,
“Honor's head sure is stuck in the clouds today, mm? I bet it's about a boy—don't you?”
And yeah. Unfortunately, she was right. But at the same time, she was sowrong.I hated that no one could know the true story. I hated that none of this was my fault; I was only trying to do the right thing. Yet, I was constantly being treated as if I were doing the wrong thing.
My eyes burned into the pins as I readied my bowling ball. I imagined Madison's blonde head, tangerine tan, and absurdly fake smile sitting at the top of each pin.Grr.I hurtled the ball down the lane, wanting to smash those pins into splinters.
Alas … bowler I am not. The ball made a quick detour straight into the gutter. The kids laughed so loud and hard, some of them fell out of their seats and rolled around on the floor. I didn't mind. I hammed up my disappointment to make them laugh even harder.
But Madison? Her cackling … that hateful look she held for me …grrr.
Didn't she know? You shouldn't punish a girl for a crime she didn't commit. Because if she's already doing the time, she starts to think she might as well commit the crime.
***
We bowled one game after another, the kids so full of soda and stuffed with pizza, that they were practically bouncing of the walls. At last, it was time to wrap up and say goodbye, and the kids boarded their bus.
I checked my phone and noticed a text from a number I didn't recognize.
“Hey Honor,” it read.
Hm. I tapped out a reply. “Who's this?”
“Hunter.”
When I read his name, my heart raced with an ominous dread,anda wave of relief, all at once. Confused? Yeah. So was I. And I wasn't sure how to reply to him, either. But then my phone buzzed with another message.
“Watching our game tonight?”
I replied: “Hi Hunter. I wasn't planning on it.”
“You better watch. Tonight's game is for you.”
I rolled my eyes. The hell did that even mean? I wasn't sure. But apparently, rejection only made Huntermorecocky and aggressive.
I replied, simply: “lol.”
“Seriously. I've been thinking about you all day long. Just watch the game.”
