CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Marly
Ispent twodays in the comfort and security of my bedroom. I didn’t leave. Not even once. Thank God for en suite bathrooms and roommates who bring you food.
A groan wailed through the room, and I wasn’t sure if it was my stomach, my voice, or the bed. Then I heard footsteps padding across the floor and the mattress sagged on the edge.
“Time to get up, sunshine,” Omar whispered.
This time it wasdefinitelymy groan. “No,” I mumbled, stuffing my face into the pillow.
“Yep,” Omar stood, throwing the covers off me and I squealed, reaching for the corner to cover myself. It wasn’t like I was indecent or anything, but still. “C’mon, baby. It’s your big day.”
I sniffled, pulling myself up to a seated position. My eyes were swollen and my vision blurred from two full days spent crying. “I’m not going. What’s the point? Even if I get the stupid part, everyone will think it’s because of Jude, anyway.”
Omar shuffled around the room, pulling out two different outfits and hanging them on the back of the door. “The point is to pick yourself up and show the world that their stupid accusations don’t mean anything. You know the truth. You know if you get this part, it’ll be because you researched and worked hard to understand Holly. Isn’t that what matters?”
Stupid Omar and his logical reasoning. I snorted, falling back onto the pillow.
“Speaking of Jude… he’s been calling,” Omar said quietly. “He even stopped by yesterday.” My throat grew tight as I glanced at his watch, still sitting on my nightstand. I knew he’d been here. I heard his voice from the hallway. “He’s really worried about you.” Omar tossed something on the bed by my feet. “And he brought you a weird fucking gift.”
I lifted a teddy bear, the fur soft as silk against my hands. Only the teddy bear was hog tied; bound up like some sort of submissive sexpot. A laugh exploded from deep inside me and it was the first moment of happiness I felt in almost two days. With a final swipe of my eyes, I set the teddy bear to the side, shaking my head. “He shouldn’t have come here. Not with the reporters watching this place so closely.”
“He came in a tinted limo. No one could see him. Besides, while you were in here wallowing—”
“I amnotwallowing.” Omar shot me a look and I snapped my mouth shut immediately. “Okay, fine. I was wallowing.”
“Exactly. While you were wallowing, Kyle and I released a statement.”
“Without asking me?”
“Please, boo. It’s not always aboutyou.” He shot me a playful grin, still rifling through my drawers. “Besides, how could we ask you anything? You wouldn’t listen. You wouldn’t talk to me.” He pulled out a bra and panty set that were basically just scraps of lace and string, gave them a quick once over and nodded, tossing them onto the bed at my feet. “So Kyle and I came up with a plan. And you need to know before you go out there.” He stopped and with a deep breath, turned to face me. “I came out. To the public.” He shrugged nonchalantly, but there was a tight twitch to his jaw.
“Omar!” I was up and out of the bed in seconds, my arms flung around his neck. “What—how? I thought you wanted to wait a couple of years? I mean, I think it’s great, but please tell me you didn’t do that for me.” As I pulled back, his muscles bunched under my hands.
He shook his head, kissing the top of my hairline. “I did it for me, not you. And really, I should have done it a long time ago. For the sake of my community. Hell, for the sake of mysanity. It does nothing for me to remain quiet, hiding who I am.”
“And Simon?” The nerves bounced from my belly to chest, then back again.
Omar’s grin widened, his teeth a bright, pearly white. “Simon’s got nothing over me anymore. I just wish I’d been brave enough to do this when he first blackmailed me.ButI’ve saved every email and every text from Simon since we met.” He held up his finger and produced a stack of stapled papers that were rolled up in his back pocket. “And extortion is a felony in the State of California. The statute of limitations isn’t for five years.”
Yes! Oh, thank God.Simon deserved every bit of bitchy Karma coming his way. “You’re the bravest person I know, Omar. I’m so proud of you.” I brushed my fingers over his shaven head. “So, you’re out?” I grinned and warmth spread through my limbs.
He curled one shoulder to his ear and flashed one of his breathtaking smiles. Omar’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket, pressing it to his ear. “Hello? Yes, this is Omar…” He covered the speaker and mouthed,be right back, as he stepped out of my bedroom.
I wandered to the dresses Omar had pulled from my closet and ran my hands over the silky green fabric. Facing Jude again after all we’d been through? It tied my stomach in about a million different knots. I overreacted to the paparazzi. It wasn’t Jude’s fault they had found me—it was Jack’s. All Jack. And if I stayed in bed, avoiding this callback, then Jack would get just what he wanted. If I left Jude, gave up on that sweet, sticky love I felt heavily behind my ribcage, Jack would win.Again.
I examined the dresses, picturing Holly. Would Holly wear these to an audition? I shook my head. No… they were too formal. I threw open my closet, rifling through my clothes—I needed sexy, but understated. Classy with a little bit of edge.Thatwas Holly. I paused in the middle of my closet and grinned.There it is, I thought, snatching leather leggings from a hanger along with a pearl beaded sleeveless shirt. Sexy without being too revealing. Classy—what girl doesn’t love pearls? But also edgy with the leather pants. And of course, a killer pair of heels.
I changed quickly, finished my makeup and smoothed my hair with the straightening iron before stepping back and examining myself in the mirror. I looked like Holly. And Marlena. Somewhere in the last week, the two of us were a bit indistinguishable. I took a deep breath and smiled at my reflection, hearing my dad’s voice.Push yourself. Because no one else will do it for you.I smiled. “You’re wrong about that one, Daddy.” That’s what friends and loved ones do. Omar was always there to nudge me forward when I stalled. And Jude—I swallowed, feeling the twisting emotion rising up from my chest. A Dominant’s job is to anticipate a sub’s needs. And a sub’s job is to please and support her Dom. You’re supposed to push the ones you love—as long as it’s not away from you.
Which was exactly what I did to Jude. I pushed him away. Left him when he must have been reeling as much as I had been.
I walked to my nightstand to where Jude’s Rolex rested beside my turquoise planner. I can be both women—I can be the organized, controlled woman by day, and the submissive crawling on my knees toward Jude by night. Being one doesn’t mean I can’t be the other. Being Jude’s submissive doesn’t mean I have to abandon everything I’ve known about who I am or what my dad taught me. And that was a relief. I grabbed the planner and the Rolex, tucking them both gently in my purse when Omar barreled back into the room, his phone still clutched in his hand. Holy crap, if I thought he’d been smiling before—now it looked like he had a cantaloupe wedging his mouth open. I laughed, unable to help myself from giggling and smiling along with him. “What? Omar, what’s going on?”
“I got the part,” he said, his voice so calm, it betrayed the news he was giving.
“You got it? The six-movie franchise?” I squealed and launched myself into his arms. He squeezed me tightly, spinning us in circles around the bedroom. “Congratulations. You deserve it.”
