“The man you love,” Ash said, his voice softer, farther away.
That warm feeling ignited into an inferno inside of me and I whipped around to face Ash. Love.Oh, God. Did I really just say that? “I—I mean, the man Holly loves…” but my voice faded away and I shook my head, dropping my gaze. The alcohol buzzed in my mind, clouding my thoughts.
“That’s not what you said,” Ash said.
“I know, okay? I just—I’m feeling confused. And… dizzy.”
Reaching out, Ash took the almost empty bourbon glass from my hands and set it aside. “Let me take you back to your room,” he said—more like a demand than an offer. “Jude will come in for aftercare soon… I’ll buy you a little time, but can I make a suggestion?”
I nodded tightly. “I suggest that you figure out what the hell you’re feeling. And soon.”
When I dared to look up at Ash again, his stern expression had been replaced with something new. Compassion, maybe? Despite his hard words, his mouth and eyes were soft. Without actually touching me, he guided me out the door and down the hall back to my room. “You made the right choice,” he said, finally breaking the silence. “You’re right—Holly would never want another man to lay a hand on her. It’s a trust that she and Leo have worked hard to build and she’d never compromise that.”
He pulled a keycard out of his back pocket and as he slid it in the lock, my door lit green and clicked open. I walked inside and turned to face Ash. “I guess I’ve still got a lot to learn,” I said quietly.
Ash shrugged. “So does Holly,” he answered. “That being said, Jude is my best friend. And I haven’t seen him look at anyone like he looks at you in two years. So before you slip up and use the four letter ‘L’ word again… make sure you mean it.”
I nodded, tight, staccato movements. “But what about the non-fraternization policy at Silhouette?”
“There’s a consent contract. A non-disclosure that consensual couples can sign,” Ash said. “Richard Blair would preferno onedate within the studio of course, but…” Ash shrugged and rolled his eyes. “Let’s be honest, in our industry? Actors, producers, directors… date all the time. We practically live in the studio, so if we don’t date each other, we’d never have any human contact.” His mouth lifted in a grin. “As long as it’s consensual and you’re both willing to sign a contract stating such, you should both be protected.”
I stood there in the doorway as the air conditioner clicked on. Cool air brushed over my skin and billowed across the silky dress sheathing my body.
“The only question left is… do you love him?”
Do I love him?I closed my eyes and pictured his sharp, high cheekbones. His clean-shaven jaw, that occasionally, by the end of the day, had the slightest rasp of stubble poking through. His trimmed, styled hair. And those brilliant green eyes. I pictured him standing right here in front of me and the mere thought of his presence had my pulse racing. My heart slammed against my ribcage and my breath grew short.
I opened my eyes and put my hand to the ache beneath my breastbone. “I think I do,” I whispered.
“Youthinkyou do?”
“I feel… like every time he’s not around, I want him to be. And—when I think of him hurt or upset, sitting out there in that common room with his martini, I get this twisty-sick feeling in my stomach. I feel hot, but clammy all at once.” I pressed my palms to my stomach and closed my eyes. I’d never been in love before—is this what it felt like? Like I was tied up in a million knots?
“I’m no expert, but that sounds like love to me. Just… don’t fuck with his heart. You’re engaged. And he’s only just beginning to superglue the pieces back together after Layla. Whatever you do… end it with Omar first.”
Omar. I needed to talk to Omar. Needed to tell him what I was feeling… he would know what to do.
Ash tapped the side of the doorframe, backing away. “I’ll tell Jude we didn’t go through with the riding crop and that you need a little time before he comes to tuck you in.” With that, Ash grabbed the handle and pulled the door shut between us.
