I swallowed, awestruck. “You? You enjoy pain.”
He nodded, taking a final bite of egg before setting the plate back onto the tray. “Occasionally. I started as a submissive. Most Dominants do.”
I set my oatmeal down next to his empty plate. I guess I didn’t delve far enough into FetLife. “What’s your skeleton?” I asked quietly.
Jude’s eyes darted up to meet mine. “My what?”
“Your skeleton. What is it the club has on you that keeps you hushed about this place?”
His lopsided smirk tipped higher. “Show me yours and I’ll show you mine?”
For a moment, I considered telling him everything. About me and Omar and Simon blackmailing him and how Jack spread all those rumors after I dumped him. If I got this part, we would inevitably be spending a lot of time together. And if trust for this week was important? Maybe I should lay it all out on the table.
Jude’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Oh, my God,” he said quietly. “You’re actually debating telling me.”
Heat flooded my cheeks and the flare of warmth dipped all the way into my belly. Or maybe I’m just an idiot.
“No, Marly—that’s great,” he leaned forward, placing a hand on top of mine. “Really. The fact that you trust me enough to tell me a secret like one they find here for the contracts—” the catch in his voice threw me off. Was he actually moved by this? By me? He did a sort of half grunt, half chuckle thing and shook his head. “Well, let’s just say it’s been a long time since a woman’s been so up front with me.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Jude cut me off. “My secret they have on me isn’t that exciting. It’s the mere fact that I’m in this lifestyle as hardcore as I am. My mother is a senator in Montana and a huge feminist. Even though everything I do is consensual, my lifestyle becoming public would hurt my family. Not to mention my career. All anyone would see is Jude the Dom who whips women. Not Jude, the Academy Award winning actor and loving son. She’s worked her whole life to get to where she is, I can’t let my kinks take away from all the good she’s done for women’s rights.”
“But… aren’t they going to find out after this movie comes out?”
His brows creased in the center of his face. “Why would they? Yeah, I’m acting in the film. And one of the producers. But to the world, it’s just that…acting. No one thinks Jamie Dornan is a real Dom, do they?”
“Well…” I lowered my cheek to my shoulder, shooting him a grin.
Jude laughed, the sound deep and rich like the coffee I had earlier. He narrowed his eyes, studying me. “So…yourdemon. It must be a doozy, huh?” he asked as a quiet afterthought.
I looked away, shrugging. “Something like that.”
“It’s okay,” his thumb moved in circles over my knuckle. “You don’t have to tell me. Just the fact that you were considering it is… well, special.”
I sighed, relieved. Even though Iwantedto be upfront with Jude, I just couldn’t. Not yet. Because I wouldn’t just be outing myself… I’d be outing Omar.
