Double shit. What would the hard limit be on a common area in a BDSM club? “Uh—” It wouldn’t be nudity. It wouldn’t be sexual acts. Maybe punishment?
His eyes dipped to my mouth where I was chewing my fingernail. Triple shit. Biting my nails was a dead giveaway. I dropped my hand, threading my fingers together and clenching them in front of me.
“You didn’t read the contract at all, did you?” A chilly grimace twisted his mouth and disapproval seeped from him like sweat out of a runner’s pores.
“We needed to get out of that diner fast,” I said, justifying my actions. My stupid actions. Bitterness spiked inside of me.
He shook his head, his eyes dropping to where I twisted the engagement band on my left ring finger. “You lied to me,” he said, shaking his head. Shame spiraled through me, burning like acid down to my belly. “That document is intense. The most important thing you had to sign. Itoldyou that. And you… you didn’t even read it. And what’s worse? Youliedto me about reading it.” His whisper was so low, that it was barely audible. He stepped back, the movement small in its action, but huge in meaning. “It was my fault. I should have made sure you had read it before letting you in here.”
“Lettingme in here?” I said. “You aren’tlettingme do anything, Jude. This week, these exercises, these lessons… they are my choice. It ismychoice what I sign and how I understand it.”
Jude’s inhale hissed through his clenched teeth. Spinning, he walked in a circle, scrubbing his hands down his face. “Goddammit, Marly. Part of this week is about us taking care of each other. Trusting each other. If I was your Dom, it would bemy jobto ensure you read the contract and understood it. It’s my job to keep you safe. And it’s your job to communicate with me and be honest.” He swallowed so hard, that I could see the tension lining his throat. “We both failed. Less than one hour in and we failed.”
“You told me to trust you. Trust you as my ‘Dom’ for the week, right? Well, would my Dom have given me paperwork Ishouldn’thave signed?” It was circular logic. It was stupid. I knew that. My stubborn, hot-headedness had taken over.
“As your Dom, I wouldn’t let you get away with that behavior. It’s not acting in your own best interest. You disobeyed me… if you were my sub, you’d be in for a punishment.” The words were threatening if you boiled them down without inflection or meaning. But the glint in his eyes was naughty. Playful. “You need to read this contract.” He gripped the paper in his tight fist, holding it in front of my face. “You need to understand it front and back—”
“Okay, Iwill. I promise. Can you just… I don’t know, show me around first? I promise I will not tell a soul what I see inside these walls. I won’t tell Omar.”
“You need to know what you’ve signed away—it’s not just a monetary fine if you tell someone. LnS will ruin you—”
“Please,” I plead. “Just… let me read the contract later. I fucked up. I know. You don’t need to rub it in.”
Jude sighed. “I’m not trying to rub anything in. Or make you feel guilty—”
“Bullshit,” I snapped. Jude’s eyes widened and he jerked back as though I’d struck him. “Youweretrying to make me feel guilty. For lying to you.” I sighed, softening my tone with a quick glance over my shoulder. Thank God the hallway was empty. This argument was embarrassing enough just between Jude and me. “You don’t need to make me feel guilty. I already am for lying to you. I’m… sorry. But also, don’t stand there and lie and tell me your motives have nothing to do with a little bit of a guilt trip.”
His mouth twitched. “You’re right. Honesty goes both ways and I was trying to make you feel a little guilty. I’m sorry, too.” Reaching out, he took my hand and gave it a warm squeeze.
A tremble vibrated through my body as his touch slipped away. Jude hoisted my overnight bag onto his shoulder, leading the way down to room number 218. The keycard slid into the lock and the door beeped open, like a hotel room. “After you,” he kicked the door and it swung open, revealing a lavishly decorated bedroom, equipped with bathroom, kitchenette and a wall lined with built in cabinets.
I cautiously entered, looking around the corners for all my friends to pop out and shout‘Surprise! Just kidding!’But the room stayed eerily silent, except for the deafening thrum of my heartbeat.
On the same wall as the bed, was a door. Not the bathroom… I could see it on the other side. Maybe a second closet?
“That goes to my room,” Jude said, gesturing to it. “All members get two rooms.” Jude followed me inside, closing the door behind him.
“Why wouldn’t you want to sleep in the same room as your sub?”
He carefully set my bag on the bed, then straightened his cuff links with a quick, taut tug on his sleeve. “Usually I do. But sometimes, part of her punishment is time apart. Or sometimes…” he paused and his mouth ticked into a small grin. “Sometimes it’s sexier. Delayed gratification, right?”
I licked my lips, the memory of the salted caramel from last night still lingering in my mind. “Right,” I said, my voice hoarse.
“So,” Jude stepped to the center of the room, his hands outstretched in a dramatic display. “This is the true LnS club—a BDSM club where memberships are highly exclusive, not to mention expensive. It’s a place for those of us in the community to keep our kink without being found out by wandering ears and eyes. And for a few days, you will be privy to those secrets. Which is why your discretion is of the utmost importance.”
I swallowed. “I get it, okay? I will never tell anyone what’s in here.”
“Good.” He punctuated the word with a short, sharp nod. Then, with a heavy sigh, he stabbed his hands into his hair. “Marly, have a seat,” he said, gesturing to the bed, his hair now disheveled in a way that made him even sexier. Which wasn’t freaking fair at all. When my hair was windblown? I landed on Page 6 with a big DON’T stamped across my ass. But Jude? The tousled look suited him.
I sat at the edge of the bed, watching as Jude paced in the room. “Look, I want to take you outside of this room tonight. But you need to know what you’re getting yourself into by staying here. LnS knows its patrons have money. Monetary fines wouldn’t keep some of the people here quiet. But a dirty secret that they could spill on you?” Jude paused, kneeling in front of me.
“A dirty secret? Like… if I tell on them, they’ll tell on me?”
“Exactly.” He nodded. “That’s why you can’t tell anyone who or what happens behind these doors. LnS has dirt on all of us. Don’t get me wrong, I trust this club with my life. I know they’ll never leverage anything if they don’t have to. They don’t want to use this information. But they will if they have to.”
I gulped. “So, they’re looking into something about me?”
Jude sighed, his face sagging with the deep, thoughtful breath. He put a hand to my arm and moved it up and down in soft, reassuring strokes. “They’re not looking. If you’re in the club, that means they have something.”
