I sighed. "I think I'm going to plan for her not being there. I can say we broke up or something. Blake seems to think I'll be fine without her there."
"I have faith in you." Mom patted my hand, and then Lilliana mimicked her. Everything I was doing was for her. I should be focused on her and the mediation. Not worried about what was going on with Blake.
I pulled Lilliana into my lap, breathing her baby scent, her curls tickling the scruff on my chin.
"You have to do what she's comfortable with," Mom said reasonably.
"I promised myself I wouldn't hold her back. And if pretending to be my girlfriend and living here isn't good for her, then I'll let her go," I said, sounding more confident than I felt.
"She'll have to make a decision about whether she returns to her doctorate program or stays here. Personally, I'm hoping she stays because her class was delightful. I'd love to take some more."
"She can always come back," Dad added, but I wasn't so sure about that.
She'd return to her school and remember all the reasons why it was a bad idea to get involved with a single dad with an erratic ex. She'd find some other guy who had less baggage than me. I was never her endgame. I was a summer fling.
I'd helped her figure out what she wanted in life, to finish her degree, and whatever happened after that was up to her. I wouldn't stop her.
The front door opened, and I heard the sound of footsteps running on the wood floor.
"L!" Henry yelled as he ran toward us.
I let Lilliana down so that they could greet each other. They hugged, which was cute. I was glad that I lived close enough to family so that they could grow up together. Family was what mattered. Girlfriends came and went. Just because I thought I was in love with Blake, didn't mean she felt the same.
Dad handed Hudson the platter of burger patties. "Can you get this started on the grill? Everyone will be here before I know it, and they'll be starving."
"You got it," Hudson said, waving at me to join him.
I had a feeling he wanted to talk to me about the awkward situation he'd found himself in the middle of yesterday. Hudson hadn't said anything when I asked him to go outside and unpack the truck while I checked in on Lilliana.
But I saw him talking to Blake for a few minutes. I was curious what they talked about.
It was warm outside. No sign of summer ending except for the ever-expanding pit in my stomach.
"How are things with you and Blake?" Hudson asked, setting the patties one by one on the grill.
I grabbed the back of my neck. "Did she tell you what Ashton said?"
He raised a brow. "That he wants you to pretend to be engaged?"
I nodded. "He thinks it will make me look more stable."
"And what does Blake want?" he asked.
"She doesn't feel right about it."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'll have to go in there myself and hope it's enough."
"Not that my opinion counts for much in this situation, but I think you'll be okay. You've changed a lot since Lilliana was born."
I looked away. "What if what I want is Blake standing by my side because it helps me?"
Hudson glanced over at me. "You want her support."
"Yeah, and it sucks that she won't be there."
"Have you told her how much it would mean for her to be by your side? That she doesn't need to be your fiancée. It's for you, not the case?"
