“Ah.” I remained an expert in the study of Seattle bachelors.
He went on for a bit, telling me about Chicago, his family, and what he’d studied in college. I was beginning to get restless,considering how to break in and suggest a visit to the bar, when he paused for breath and looked at me. He reached for a curl that had fallen into my face and pushed it behind my ear.
“And you are the sexiest girl I’ve met since I moved here.”
Since he moved here?I considered asking him to expand on that point—what sort of Chicagoan vixens was I competing with, exactly? But before I had a chance, Sumira burst through the door, trailed by her besotted young man.
“There you are! I thought you’d been carried off by some—oh, hello, Stephen.”
“Enjoying the party?” Stephen asked.
“Definitely much better than last year’s,” Sumira said. Her fanboy nodded emphatically, and I couldn’t help a sardonic look in his direction. He was practically an embryo last year, so of course this year’s party was an improvement.
“Shall we go back inside?” I asked. “I could use another drink.”
The four of us spent the rest of the evening together, chatting, dancing, and at one point joining a crowd around Sumira’s boss that was pelting him with loving insults. Apparently it was a holiday tradition for the employees to rib on the boss, yelling out the things they’d held bottled inside all year. I contributed, shouting merrily, “Fat old perv!” Stephen looked at me in surprise. When I asked him why, he said, “I just noticed your eyebrows are bright red.”
The night was a roaring success. And yes, I gave Stephen my number when he asked. He texted me as soon as he got home, so… stay tuned.
Oh, and Sumira went home with the youth. Cradle robber.
The next evening, we gathered for a girls’ night at Eva’s apartment. As we lounged around the coffee table, which was spread with half-empty wine bottles and a cheese board, Sumira and I recounted our adventures of the previous night.
“I’m glad you two had fun.” Eva pinched some cracker crumbs from her sweater and ate them. “My date was a disaster. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.”
“What happened?”
Eva groaned like it pained her to recall. “The headliner was looking around for people to razz, and he saw us. He pointed at me and went, ‘Hey, I recognize you. We met on Tinder. What, are you experimenting now?’ It got a good laugh and then he moved on. But Jennifer was like ice after that.”
“It wasn’t true, though!” Amy looked concerned. “Your Tinder is set to women only.”
“I know. Jennifer believed him, though. We’d just had a conversation about how I hadn’t been with a guy since high school, and she said she hadn’t either, and it was a whole thing.”
“She couldn’t laugh it off?” I asked.
“Nope. She barely spoke to me again for the rest of the date. Now I’ll just have to live with the embarrassment every time I see her in class.”
We clucked sympathetically. Privately I thought perhaps it was for the best. The ability to take a light joke—especially at acomedy show—was important in a significant other, I’d always thought.
“I’m sorry, Eva.” Amy swirled her glass of rosé. “My date night sucked too.”
“How did your date night go wrong? I didn’t know that was possible after you were married.” Sumira set down her phone and leaned in curiously.
Amy stared into her wine for a moment. “It was nothing. Never mind.”
Sumira, Eva, and I exchanged a wide-eyed look. The kind of look that says, “Here we go, ladies. Hold on to your bras, this might be a bumpy ride.”
“Spill, Amy.” “Tell us everything, right now.” “Tell us what happened or so help me, I will start a pillow fight.”
“Okay, okay!” Amy set down her glass and sighed, sitting up straighter. “I tried to… but Ryan didn’t… and the truth is…” The next part came out very fast. “We haven’t had sex in a month.”
I may have screamed. Sumira covered her mouth in shock.
“I thought sex was a given when you were married. At least for newlyweds.”
“Not helping, Rachel,” Sumira said.
“What’s going on? Are you going through a fight?” Eva rubbed Amy’s shoulder.
