“That’s another thing not everyone does.”
“Hm.”
“Just remember that there is a whole world out there outside of technical support.”
It was my turn to smile; this was the first cheerful thing she’d said all hour.
“Rachel, our time is up for today. Would you like to make another appointment?”
I hesitated. “My insurance covers this, right?”
She nodded.
“Okay, sign me up.”
And that was how Rachel, formerly a self-destructive sex goddess, became Rachel, responsible woman who sees a therapist and Takes Care of Herself (and was, hopefully, still a sex goddess).
Friday morning I sent a message to the group chat saying, “Is it just me or is our chat a little quiet these days?”
I was riding a Friday iced coffee high, avoiding my work responsibilities, as one does. And, in the spirit of honesty, I had sent a text to Stephen a half hour earlier and gotten no response. It was something along the lines of “TGIF,” and if that seems like I was fishing for him to ask me to hang out over the weekend, that’s because I was. But alas, no fish were biting. So I thought trading some gossip with the girls would make me feel better. I grinned when my phone lit up immediately with Eva’s reply.
Eva Galvez 11:01 AM:
It has been quiet! I’ve been spending a lot of time with Jasmine. How are you three?
Rachel Weiss 11:03 AM:
I’ve been seeing more of my therapist than Stephen. He’s still doing this hot-and-cold thing. It’s starting to bother me a bit.
Eva Galvez 11:07 AM:
I’m sorry, Rach.
I stared at my phone for another minute or two to see if any more sympathy was forthcoming. To see if Amy and Sumira would say anything at all. They did not. I swiped back to my text messages with Stephen. No response. No typing bubbles.
My caffeine buzz withered in my veins.
I chewed my lip and jiggled my foot anxiously. I just wanted a quick dopamine hit of incoming messages; was that so much to ask for? So I took a silly selfie with my coffee and posted it with the caption, “How much iced coffee is too much iced coffee on a Friday?”
Less than two minutes later, my phone buzzed.
Christopher Butkus 11:15 AM:
Depends. How badly are your hands shaking?
I snort-laughed. Dopamine hit acquired.
CHAPTER 10
THE MONTH OF JUNEwasn’t off to the best start. I’d spent the last week moping around, stewing in loneliness. I was happy that my friends were happy—Eva with her new girl, Amy with her husband, Sumira with… who could say?—but couldn’t they show a little care for me in my time of need? I mean, sure, I was ostensibly coupled up as well, but my so-called boyfriend had been doing less than the bare minimum. We’d hooked up once in the last two weeks and it had seemed like his mind was elsewhere. Which, as you can imagine, was not at all flattering. Anyway, I had been through all the trashy reality shows Netflix had to offer, and the cashier at PCC had started giving me side-eye when I checked out with my solitary bottle of wine and bag of cookies each night.
On a Monday morning, I was two and a half coffees in when I received a cryptic meeting request from Kenneth’s boss, Mike. Why was it that I’d gone my entire career with nary a cryptic meeting request, and now I was getting one monthly?
When I got to his office, Jennie from HR was there too. I thought for sure I was getting fired, but I had no idea why. Jennie gave me a pitying look, like,Poor thing, you’re stupid enough to give joke answers to your daily questions and now you’re getting fired too?Iwanted to toss my coffee at her. (I was onto my fourth now; I was nervous and needed the liquid comfort.)
Mike, a powerful-looking man with a thick head of graying hair and a very square jaw, gestured to a chair on one side of his office. I sat down, suddenly self-conscious about my knees, not knowing which direction to point them. I settled on tucking them to one side; my hands shook as I clutched my coffee cup on my lap.
Jennie didn’t sit but instead stood like a security guard beside the door. I took this as a bad sign. Mike heaved a sigh so laden with disappointment and foreboding that I couldn’t take it anymore.
