Mason’s eyes widened. “I can’t—”
“Living room, now!” Olivia barked at him, then cut her eyes at our sister. “Kat, seriously, can you just—”
Ding-dong.
We all stopped and stared at each other. Icing dripped off theend of the piping bag onto the floor. I watched it land near my feet. Mom and Dad really should consider getting a dog.
But wait. They weren’t going to be living here much longer. My stomach flipped again.
“Who on earth?” Olivia snapped into mom mode and half-shoved Mason toward the living room. “Go on to your sister. I’ll get the door. And Chloe—here.” She snatched a kitchen rag off the island and tossed it to Chloe, who remained unmoving in the middle of the spill, as if it were lava instead of lukewarm coffee.
“My shoes!” She remained balanced in one spot on tiptoe. I craned my neck to see, then rolled my eyes at the sight of her white boots standing precariously in the middle of the coffee. Figures she dressed up while everyone else wore pajamas.
Oh, right—I was wearing my fancy sweater.
Lydia’s hiccupped cries grew louder as Ryan’s icing melted over the kringle and pooled on the counter under the wire cooling rack. “Your mom doessomuch for us. I just wanted to treat her to a special Christmas breakfast.”
Wait. “This is about Mom?” I snorted, halfheartedly patting Lydia’s shoulder. My newfound Christmas patience was admittedly wearing a bit thin. “Trust me, it’s fine. She thinks you can do no wrong.”
“But I’m just trying to live up to you.” Lydia wailed again.
Oh.That changed everything. I met Ryan’s eyes over her head. He held up both hands and backed away.
“Lydia, what do you mean?” I moved in front of her and tugged her hands off her face.
She settled her hands in her lap, wringing them together and avoiding my gaze. “You’re a superstar. Living by yourself in a big city, Ms. Independent with a great job.” She sniffed. “Well, until…you know.” She grimaced.
Yeah. I knew.
Lydia wiped her watery eyes. “I could never do that. I’m such a homebody. But Ryan thinks you hung the moon. And your parents…all Grace talks about is how proud she is of you. Like, you didn’t get married too young—”
“Hey.” Kat frowned.
“—or believe that you had to have a man to be happy.” Lydia sniffed again.
“She said all that?” I frowned, unsure what I was hearing. Unsure why Axel was still kneeling on the ground in a puddle of coffee. Unsure who was at the door.
But mostly unsure how in the world Lydia and I had never had this conversation before.
“I’ve always needed someone.” Lydia waved her hand toward Ryan, her eyes puffy. “I can’t doanythingby myself. Even teaching. I need my aide, or those kids would destroy me.” She shuddered.
Wow. I tilted my head, studying her as she worried her bottom lip between her perfectly straight teeth. “Lydia, you’re the one who makes everything look easy.” I sighed. “Literally everything.”
“Well, it’s not easy being in your shadow. Everyone loves you. You’re funny and pretty and clever. You’re so…cool.” She eyed me up and down. “You don’t have to try to people-please to fit in like I do.”
Oh brother. “I think you’re confusing that alleged lack of people-pleasing with giving up.” I huffed. “I’ve literally been thinking for months that you’re the daughter my mom would prefer.”
“That’s crazy,” Ryan, Kat, and Lydia said at the same time.
We looked at Kat.
“What? I’m confident in my role in this family.” Kat tossedher ponytail, her scowl still in place. “You two are apparently insecure enough for all the Sinclair women.”
She had a point. If I’d been more comfortable in my own skin, in who I was, with or without a job or a boyfriend, maybe I could’ve avoided all this holiday heartache by not being afraid to come home. Lydia didn’t see me as weak without a man or a job—she saw me as strong. And apparently, so did Mom.
Why had I been so nervous to be myself with my own family? None of us were perfect. Including Lydia, who dabbed her face on the oven mitt, which left a black grease smudge on her cheekbone.
“I would have burned a pastry a long time ago if I’d known it’d have cleared the air between us.” She chuckled self-consciously. “I really admire you, Holly.”
