I’m so sorry, friend.
My Grinch status had been reinstated times ten.
I fiddled with the marshmallow on the end of my roasting stick. Even the navy down sleeping bag wrapped around me and the heat from the firepit sending sparks into the night sky did nothing to warm the chill that had settled ever since I learned Nick left.
Just like that.
Not that I’d been ready to see him when I woke up. But I hadn’t wanted tonotsee him either. I didn’t know what I wanted. Except maybe for everything to go back the way it was before the family meeting. When I’d been happy and incredibly naïve.
What a mess.
“Aunt Holly, can you pass me a marshmallow?” Janie blinked innocently at me from the pallet she shared with Mason, a safe distance from the fire.
I numbly reached for the bag on the end table next to me.
“Wait.” Olivia sat upright in her Adirondack chair, pulling her blanket over her shoulders as she quirked an eyebrow at her daughter. “How many have you had?”
Janie’s tangled hair fell over the shoulders of her Christmas pajamas as she blinked again, double time. “Two.”
“Four,” Mason corrected. Olivia had forced him into similar pajamas, though his were decidedly more masculine.
Olivia hesitated, then waved her hand in the air. “Fine, one more each. But that’sit.”
Janie and Mason exchanged furtive victory glances.
“I mean it.” Olivia wagged her finger between them. “You’re being watched.”
“You can’t threaten us with Santa anymore. He’s not real.” Janie frowned as she wiggled onto her knees and reached for a roaster.
“Yeah, that’s why we’re drowning our sorrows.” Mason held up the bag of mallows.
Kat frowned from her chair next to Olivia. “Who said he’s not real?”
“And where did you learn the phrase ‘drowning our sorrows’?” Ryan asked. He and Lydia were sharing a quilt on the other side of the fire, next to Chloe and Axel.
I sat alone.
“Well, you never confirmed hewasreal so we sort of figured it out.” Mason shrugged as he arranged another marshmallow on his stick.
“I actually meantIwould be watching.” Olivia grimaced. “Look, it’s not that simple, guys. Let’s talk about it next week with your dad.”
“AfterChristmas,” Mason told Janie with a sigh.
“Hey, hit me with one of those.” Axel called across the firepit to Mason.
Mason reared back and threw one. Axel caught the mallow in his mouth, much to Mason’s shock and Janie’s delight.
Chloe beamed at Axel as she rewrapped her scarf around her neck. “Good job, babe.” He planted a kiss on her nose in return.
I watched their interaction, nibbling on my lower lip. For all my siblings’—and my father’s—general dislike of Axel, he’d proven himself to really care about my baby sister. And vice versa.
My chest tightened. I’d really thought I had that same connection with Nick. It seemed so evident in our banter. The way his eyes shone when he teased me. The way he trailed his fingers over mine while we held hands. All the fun we’d had hating Christmas and then actually enjoying it…together.
Had any of it been real, or was he that good of an actor?
Hard to fully believe the latter, but then again, hadn’t Nick been acting since he arrived? Playing one role for Ryan, another for me, and yet another for my parents. Who could know?
The back door slammed. “Who wants sausage balls?” Dad carried a serving platter out and set it on the table near me, which already held the remnants of burnt marshmallows, a roll of paper towels, and several abandoned hot chocolate mugs. Mom was right behind him, carrying a hardback children’s book and a thermos.
