How could I start making it right, though?
First thing first, I needed to speak to Darcy.
“Coach, I need a ride,” I said, moving to step past Evie.
“You might want to put some pants on first,” Evie chided gently, a small smile on her face now that she knew her message had been well and truly received.
I looked down at myself, realizing I was wearing swimwear and nothing else. Right. Back to my locker to find track pants.
“Your race is going to be called any minute now.”
“I’m withdrawing.”
“What?!”
I looked him in the eye, daring him to disagree. When he dropped his gaze, I pulled a shirt over my head and gathered my duffel bag. A throat cleared behind me. Xavier Greene stood at the entrance to the showers, eyes locked on Evie in a way I didn’t think Cody would appreciate.
“Greene?” I asked, wondering if he had been sent as a spokesman of sorts.
With a start, he switched his focus back to me. Lucky. “Uh, yeah. You want me to let the officials know you’re not swimming?”
In years gone by, I may have read something more into the offer. Was he keen to see me gone? But he hadn’t ever acted as competitive as I had felt toward him.
“I remember that swim, man. You were distracted in a way that was painful to witness. I remember I was so pissed off, I finally got to race you and your head wasn’t in it. I’ll do what I can with the board, but you need to go get her.”
Unable to process the fact he might actually be a good guy, I nodded thanks and took off out the door with a deliberate look at Coach.
We barely spoke on the drive to Darcy’s apartment, and I was glad for that. I had no space to consider Coach’s part in everything, and worry that I would miss Darcy entirely made me shift in my seat, wishing I could have driven and put the car through its paces to get there as soon as possible. I made a quick call to distract myself, and hopefully salvage something of the day, then all I could do was wait. Finally, her apartment building appeared with a hideously large moving van out front. Before the car was in park I had thrown open my door, lunging for the sidewalk and breaking into a run as though the van may disappear if I take even a second longer to reach her. Pounding up the stairs, I reached her door in record time and took half a second to breathe before knocking in as civil a manner as I could manage. My heart thumped hard in my chest, measuring the seconds as the silence stretched out and no one answered. Trying the knuckle thing one more time, I looked up and down the corridor before reaching for the knob. Did I have a right to just walk into her space anymore? Absolutely not. The handle turned under my hand, the door swinging open into a deserted room. No furnishings. No personal touches. A rumbling outside caught my attention and I rushed to the window in time to watch the van pull out below.
She was gone.
With a sense of emptiness, I watched the white monstrosity amble down the street, around the corner, and completely out of sight, taking any hope of catching her with it.
I was an idiot.
A self-centered asshole who had spent so much time worrying about my father, that I had lost the only thing I ever cared about. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the symbol of my stupid, misguided hope.
The metal was cool in my hand, and it occurred to me that a better man would have got a bigger diamond. Something worthy of her. Maybe I should have asked her opinion on the thing. What did I know about engagement rings?
The day I had decided I’d marry her, I’d passed a jewelry store on the way in to the aquatic center. I’d forced the Uber driver to pull over and wait while I ran into the store. The ring had been front and center in the display case, and I’d known as soon as I saw it that I wanted it on Darcy’s finger. Even at fifty percent off, it had taken a good chunk of my savings, and maybe it had been a bad omen to get a ring on sale, but at the time it had felt like fate.
Even as we fell apart, I’d kept the ring with me. A talisman to the man I wanted to be for her.
The distance between Fankirth and Swenton seemed insurmountable. Hell, Cody and I had both moved here to get away from our childhood home.
Realizing I was standing in the empty apartment of the woman who would always own my heartfelt like a ridiculous commentary on my life. Especially as I considered I’d just sabotaged my chances of the national team on top of everything else.
Pathetic. Just as my father had said too many times to count.
Sighing, I said a silent goodbye to the place I’d been happy in for a time and turned toward the door.
“What are you doing here?”
Darcy
“Last one,”I muttered to myself, stumbling under the weight of the box of old books I’d kept in the basement storage room. The pounding of footsteps on the staircase over my head made my ears ring, and I shook my head at the impatience of some people. Fankirth was never as busy as Swenton. People always seemed to be in a rush here. I tried to convince myself I preferred the quieter life, but quickly gave up. Lying to myself was becoming a nasty habit.I’m fine. Moving home is an opportunity. I have a full, beating heart in my chest. Bullshit. All of it. I was bleeding out every second I stayed in Swenton. The truth was, I missed Kane. I missed waking up in his arms, and hearing him talk about swimming. I missed his interest in my writing and the way he always wanted to be touching me in some way. Logically, I understood he couldn’t stand to be with the woman who killed his child, but my heart didn’t want to hear it. It just wanted him back where it felt he belonged.
With me.