My voice was a tremulous whisper as I clutched onto him. “Don’t leave me.”
His arms around me tightened, and he lowered his chin to the top of my head. “I’m not going anywhere,” he assured me with a kiss to the top of my head.
I lifted my head, blinking rapidly to see him clearly through all of my tears. “I loveyou, Nirah Joy. And I’m going to stay by your side for the rest of our lives,” he kissed my forehead.
He held me so tight that I forgot about all the people who’ve tried to hurt me. I felt so safe in his arms. “It’s me and you, baby,” he kissed the top of my head. “But you’re going to have to start trusting me.”
“I do,” I choked out. “Idotrust you—I just don’t feel that I’m worth all of the trouble you go through,” I admitted. It’s the truth. I didn’t feel worth it. Worth any of it. Happiness.Satisfaction. Excitement.Him. None of it. Alexander made sure of that, over and over.
One can only hear the words ‘worthless’, ‘pathetic’, ‘waste of space’ and ‘stupid’ so many times before you start to believe it.
I’d like to think that I’m strong. After everything I’ve been through, here I still am, but in reality, I’m just a weak little girl who’s afraid.
She ignored her problems and slapped a smile on her face, pretending to have it all together.She didn’t.
CHAPTER 33
Nirah
PART OF ME always knew it was too good to be true.
The joy, the comfort, the safety. The pure and utter happiness. Because someone like me wasn’t destined for eternal happiness. But temporary fulfillment.
“Of course, you’re worth it,” he reassured me. “You are worth every single thing I’ve done for you.”
He placed his hands underneath my thighs, lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding onto him tightly. I buried my face in his neck, and he walked us to the sofa, sitting down.
I adjusted my legs, pulling my arms from his neck. I hugged him underneath his arms, and he wrapped his arms around me. With my cheek resting against his chest, I let tears stream down my face. He’s holding me. That’s all I need. His warmth, his embrace, hislove.
Sniffling, I softly spoke. “Antonio?”
“Yes,tesoro?”
“Is my body tainted to you now?” I whispered, with a burning ache in my chest. “Do you see me differently?”
“No, of course not,” he immediately answered. “Baby, you’re so much more than what those men did to you. I don’t love you any less. There’s truly nothing in this fucked up world that could make me love you any less.”
I snuggled into his chest and he kissed the top of my head. “You’re my girl, Nirah. It doesn’t matter what you go through, or what you’ve been through, you’re always going to be mine and I amalwaysgoing to love you.”
A small smile appeared on my face and I parted my lips, feeling my tears dry up. Someone loves me. Antonio loves me.
They were both wrong.
Alexander and Sylvester. I am capable of love, and I’m capable of being loved. Antonio and I proved them wrong.
After my tears dried up, I wiped my face and slowly sat up to face him. “How did you know?”
“Know what?” he asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Know that I needed you.”
“I know my girl,” he confidently said. “And your eyes held an emotion that I’ve seen way too many times.Fear.” I slowly nodded and he continued. “And, when you weren’t in my bedroom when I got back, I got worried,” he gently cupped the side face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get there sooner,” he apologized and I shook my head—letting him know that it was okay. “My mother needed my help up the stairs, while she ranted about wanting to physically fight my father—God, please tell me you’re not going to be like that and torture our children,” he shook his head and I smiled.
“As long as they turn out like me, we’re all good,” I nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders and his eyebrows scrunched together.
“Why can’t they turn out like me?” he almost defensively asked and I shifted on his lap, taking his face in my hands.
“Antonio Ivan-Yuri De Luca. I amnotcarrying your demon babies,” I slowly said and he looked away, blinking for a second. “If you want demon babies, I suggest you go make them somewhere else.”
