CHAPTERONE
EVORA
Panic slamsinto me so hard and fast that I see stars. I can’t be at the club. I am barely able to make it through the door in order to find the mother of the little girl I was watching. She’s so sick, and needs to go to the doctor, that I have no idea what I should be doing or where I should be going. If it wasn’t for this, there is no way I would be somewhere like this. Breathing becomes choppy, and I know I’m about to pass out. Dammit, I haven’t had a panic attack like this in, I don’t know how long. Ice cold hands grab my arm, and then I vaguely hear someone ask me to hold something, and then something else gets tossed into my hands.
I look down at my hands, wondering why I’m holding a pillow as well as a cup of ice. Then I look up to see a nurse speaking. I focus on her words, trying to make sense of what all she’s saying. That’s when I’m caught off-guard and notice she’s talking about pink snakes and flying monkeys. What the hell is she talking about? This woman is nuts and has lost her damn marbles.
“Are you sure it’s not you that’s lost your marbles?” My inner bitch asks.
“Umm, what the hell are you talking about,” I ask, as I furrow my brows in confusion.
“It’s a trick that I learned when I went into therapy after I was attacked. When someone starts to fall into a panic attack, you first shock their system with something cold, and you then hand them two random objects while talking complete nonsense. It causes the person's brain to let go of the panic, and focus on what you are saying,” she tells me, with an added small shrug to her shoulders.
Placing the pillow plus the cup of ice down, I act completely out of character for myself, and I reach out to bring her into my arms, hugging her close to me.
“Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me.” I sniffle.
“I have no idea what that was all about, but I hope you’re able to find someone you trust to talk about it with. I wanted to let you know that the doctor will be in with you shortly to check over your daughter.” The nurse smiles at me shyly.
Looking back at the sweet little girl behind me, I shake my head. “She’s my niece,” I lie. “Her mom is heading this way and should be here soon.”
The nurse tilts her head studding me for a moment, before apologizing, “Sorry about that. If you need anything just hit the red button and it’ll connect you with the nurses station.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
I take a seat in the chair that’s sat in the corner of the room, checking my phone over and over again for any word from her mother. I need Monacha to hurry up. Being here is making my skin crawl, and the ugly of my past begins to thrash and rattling the cage it lives behind, attempting to come out of the dark and steal what little bit of light I’ve managed to find. I scroll through Facebook and then watch TikTok videos after TikTok videos doing anything I can do to distract myself from current events. It seems like a fucking century before Monacha finally waltzes through the door as if its a normal day and we aren’t in the emergency room.
“Holy shit, is she okay? What have they said? I told you she would’ve been fine until morning. All this is completely unnecessary,” she growls, narrowing her eyes at me.
Not liking the disadvantage I have sitting in the chair, I stand, pissed that she is yelling me for taking care ofherfucking kid.
“Are you fucking serous right now? She was running fever that wouldn’t come down, and her breathing was so erratic that her lips were turning blue, and her skin was fucking pale. If I had waited any longer for your ass to finally roll home at noon tomorrow, she’d probably be dead and you’d be planning a funeral instead of ending your outing early. If you don’t fucking like it, you can find a new fucking babysitter. Now, pay me and I’ll leave you to tell that doctor how your daughter could have waited until morning.” I hiss, standing nose to nose with her.
I will never let someone walk all over me like I’m nothing, because I’m something… somebody with feelings, and someone who works hard to be a good person. If the no-good bitch doesn’t like how I take care of this precious little girl of hers, then I’m fucking out of here, and I won’t look back. Monacha pulls a handful of cash out from her purse, and hands it over, waving it at me until I pluck it from her fingertips. I push past her, wishing the doctor good luck as I head my way outside. Once I make it to my car, I climb inside and settle in the front seat when I realize, for the first time, that I’m shaking from my head to my toes. Standing up for myself doesn't come easily for me.
Shit, I mean in less than five hours ago, I went into a strip club full of people and back into a hospital. Two things I swore I would never do again after my accident. Slamming my hand down on the steering wheel I berate myself, “Once again, you’ve let your big ole’ heart get into a situation that isn’t good for you. When will you freaking learn?”
After I have my nerves under control, and feel like I can drive safely, I turn the key to my car, praying it’ll start. As I twist the key in the ignition, it does nothing but click. Closing my eyes, I drop my forehead onto the steering wheel and pray that it just needs a warm up but it’ll start… eventually. Turning it again, hoping for a better outcome this go around, it clicks three times before sputtering to life.
“Thank you! You amazing piece of junk, you!” I whoop and kiss my steering wheel.
As I pull out of my parking spot, turning my car to the left, the first raindrop falls from the sky, hitting the windshield. I drop my shoulders silently praying that I make it home before it becomes a torrential rainfall. However, when I make it to the red light at the exit of the parking lot, it’s pouring so hard that I can barely see two feet in front of me. My bald-ish tires skid through a wet patch of asphalt as I slide to a stop at the red light. Sighing when I come to a complete stop, barely edging my way to the white line and going over a hair, I thank whoever is watching over me that I didn’t end up in the middle of oncoming traffic. The turn arrow turns green, and I slowly start to inch my way out just as three, very large black SUVs run the red light nearly taking me out.
“You dumb motherfuckers,” I shout at no one, they don’t even pause to acknowledge I almost fucking got sideswiped and could’ve died because of their incompetence.
I white knuckle the steering wheel, my hands shaking, and start back on my trek home. I carefully navigate the streets, watching closely for any more fools driving that think they're the only ones driving on the slick roads. Thanking the gods when I finally make it to my house and have no other near misses. The rain hasn’t let up or even started to slow down in any way.
I park as close as I can to my apartment door, shutting off the car, and scanning to see what all I need to take in with me. I gather my purse and e-reader, stuffing it up my shirt to protect it from getting wet and damaged. Taking a deep breath, I shove the door open, and sprint across the cracked and chipped parking lot, hoping I don't break a dang ankle. When I make it through the front door, my clothes are completely soaked, and I’m shivering.
My phone dings in my pocket, indicating I have a text. I wiggle it out of the pocket of my tight pants, seeing a message from the only person in the world that means something to me.
Clelia: Glad to see your ass made it home.
Me: Just shut my f-ing door.
Clelia: What took you so long? I thought you were just taking her to her mother.
Me: The heifer wouldn’t leave. Said her daughter could wait to be seen until the morning.
