And maybe I was projecting my own bottled anger by searching for the scent of her ire. Maybe I was searching for what I would have felt.
But sadness reflected back at me in her green eyes. The ache of something deeper than a white flash of anger. Is that what my rage would someday become once I'd had thirty years of it? When the fire burned out, would simple grief leave a void there instead?
“I have to come back to Calder,” she said. “Thaan will target Venusia as long as he sits in a castle overlooking Venusian waters. Juile, too. This is the closest we’ve ever come to fighting back. Even if you leave, I won’t go home. I can’t. I’ve gained so much here. Even if it takes thirty more years, I’ll stay in the secretaries’ offices, gathering information until the time comes to strike.”
Thirty more years.
Maybe by then I’d be back. It seemed an impossible number of years to wait for.
“I understand.” I took her hand, ignoring the awkward way it felt in mine, and squeezed. “I just don’t want you staying here for a plan that I’ve abandoned. I never intended to deceive you. That's why I told you from the start I didn’t intend tocordaewith Aegir.” She raised a brow under her leafy mask, and I laughed. Laughed, and something heavy anchored over my heart. “You know, I’ve never had friends before. Other than my sister.”
It almost made me want to stay.
Vouri squeezed back. “I never have either, other than my brother. And Sindri.”
Speaking her futurecordae’sname carved a dimple under the corner of her mouth, a small crinkle in her eyes. She pressed her lips together, fighting a wide smile. Losing.
I snickered, taking the handrail. “Come on.”
We stole down the steps, fourteen flights of them. Vouri panted behind me as we reached the ground floor, covering our heads under the rain for our dash to the trees outside the ballroom. I kept my eyes away from the glass, decidedly against searching for any young women in violet gossamer skirts and amethyst masks. Petrichor hung in the air, damp and warm, the sweet scent of the gardens clinging to it. Wet grass combed my ankles, sticking to the hem of my skirts.
“This way,” I said, catching her arm before she ducked down a shaded passage.
“But the cliffs are ahead?” She pointed a confused hand. “This isn’t where you and Selena come and go, is it?”
“Selena and I are well-known throughout the palace. No one questions our comings and goings. But you’re new here, and we’re wearing masks far from the party.” I cocked my head to the left. “There’s a blind spot for theguards under the curtain wall. It’s patrolled by only two men, easy to sing to.”
She motioned for me to lead the way.
I cast a few glances behind us as we darted across the grounds. Rain hid the sounds of anyone loitering nearby, and the further we ventured past the manicured topiaries and weeping willows, the deeper shadows grew. Only the torches along the wall offered us twisted direction. Small sparks flamed into flakes of dust, twirling away into the night.
“Shoes off,” I murmured as we reached the flagstones. Vouri sat on a wooden bench to pull her secretary slippers from her feet. I peered down the edge of a bush drowning in fat lilac blooms to the level below. The guards stood under a stone archway in Calder’s royal blue uniforms, swords dangling from their belts, sharing casual conversation. Pigeons roosted in the corners above them. Using my toes to pry my heels bare, I shook my own shoes off, sending them under the bench and hiking my skirt. Then leaned against the woody brambles where they couldn’t see me and sang.
Vouri watched, amusement shimmering in her forest eyes as I projected the wordless tune from my chest. She dared to gaze down through the leaves halfway through my vocals, motioning for me to continue. Selena would have had them under her spell within several heartbeats. Thaan, an instant. Myincantationwas sharp enough to be effective, but I’d never honed the speed of it like they had. It surprised me when Vouri gave a cool nod and said, “That was fast. They’re under.”
“Fast?” I smiled to myself, following her down the flagstone path. We’d become phantoms without the click of our shoes, but we both glanced up as we passed under the curtain wall anyway, ensuring no guards had stopped to investigate sound or motion.
“It took me twice as long toincantMadam Freisa.”
“Oh. Well, she’s beenincantedplenty of times before. They always take longer to becomevacouseswhen siren song exists in their head already,buried under their memories. And women take longer than men. How many times have youincanted?”
She chuckled. “Madam Freisa was my first one. I wasn’t even sure I was doing it right at first.”
I cringed. “Sorry. I guess we could have warned you.”
“Don’t be. I’ve had a few chances to practice since. I’ve never had a reason to before. Besides, it’s entertaining when I’m bored. I just go down to the servants’ quarters and find a footman. Last night Iincantedone into fetching me a meal from the kitchens wearing one of mybyssussilk dresses—” She stopped, her gaze locked ahead.
In a dip between cliffs, where the tide spat a low valley of rock, Sindri stood in the rain.
His silk cloak tapered to the wide flare of his shoulders, nearly transparent against his skin, and his ink-black hair hung in damp waves from the side of his head. I’m sure he saw me standing there, but he only had eyes for Vouri. Behind him, seated lazily on a boulder in the surf, Aegir propped himself up by one arm and a bent knee, a small smile in the crook of his mouth.
Vouri made a sound of pure glee, charging across the rocks. Waves lapped at her ankles, dragging her silk skirt behind her, but she propelled herself forward, launching into Sindri’s arms. He caught her and almost fell backwards. She flung her arms around his neck, kissing him full on the mouth. Under the muffled chant of the falling rain, he laughed softly.
I smiled, watching them embrace. Watching her peel out of his arms only to take his hand and slip under a cresting wave, never even looking back. Watching him disappear after her, the sea washing them both away as though they’d never stood there. Watching, and realizing only after they’d gone that Aegir had lingered, his dark gaze consuming me one slow heartbeat after another.
I stared back. Something as green and verdant as Vouri’s silk dress twisted, coiling around my heart. Some secret that twirled and shrank, a small craving that I realized wasn’t so small.
The crook of Aegir’s mouth slowly fell. Clouds shifted across the moon, sending a strand of light across his body, then leaving him silhouetted against the water. He lowered his drawn knee, his attention entirely focused on me. Then, with a sigh, dropped smoothly into the water, and the sea ate him as well.
