“Sorry.” She chuckles and sets down her guitar case, pulling out her pearl white Strat. “I was going to say something as soon as I got here, butgirl,you had me entranced. You’re like a freaking siren or something.”
I blush. “Thanks.”
A hum of voices sounds from the hall and the rest of the worship team fills the room. Jake with his travel keyboard, Eddie with his drumsticks, and Martin with his bass.
“Good morning everyone,” I say.
“Morning, Rom.” Eddie taps his drumsticks together with a silly grin on his mouth. “First one here again?”
I shrug. “I had nothing else going on.”
“Why don’t we do something about that?” Jake winks at me. “Just say the word when you’re ready for me to hook you up with my cousin. Allen, remember?”
“I will.” But the thing is, I won’t. I pick up my water cup from the low table next to me and take another sip. Shift my feet on the carpeted floor. Avert my gaze from Jake’s.
“He’s a real catch,” he promises.
“I’m sure he is.”
Hadley squints at Jake. “Leave her alone. She’s over dating. Let her be the strong, independent woman she’s trying to be.”
“Fine. Just trying to help.” He purses his lips and then adds, “But you don’t have to spend all your time alone or volunteering at shelters to be independent, you know. You can have a man, too. You’re allowed to do something for yourself.”
“I know. Thanks, Jake.” I try not to get irritated with him, because I know he’s just trying to be nice. But what he doesn’t understand is that I’d rather be alone, no matter how unnerving or depressing my loneliness feels.
It’s bad enough knowing how untrustworthy men are, even the ones who seem promising. I wish I could find a way to make myself not care about romance, love, or relationships after what my ex, Cole, put me through.
But it’s hard.
Idocare.
With a sigh, I point to the song list on the wall behind Jake. “Shouldn’t we practice?”
He tries to hide his scowl. “Fine.”
After three rounds of our worship set, it’s safe to say we’re all warmed up. There’s still time to kill before the first service begins, so we all take a rest, seated on the foldout chairs in our small, well-lit space.
“Sorry for nagging you, Rom,” Jake says. “I just?—”
Hadley huffs out a sigh. “What is with you, Jake? Just let it go.” Her polite smile is starting to wear thin, and not just because she and Jake used to date, but also on my account. I feel a wash of gratitude for her.
“Fine, yes. Sorry.” He holds up his hands. “I’m all done.” He gets up and stalks to the bathroom without another word.
I nudge Hadley with my shoulder once Jake is out of ear shot. “You doing okay?”
“Fine.” She shrugs. “It feels like we’ve been broken up for years instead of months, the way we’ve been fighting like an old divorced couple.”
I touch her shoulder. “But it hasn’t been years. So if you need to talk, I’m here.”
She nods. “I know. Thank you.” She’s silent for a long moment and then with a sniff, says, “He was never really a good fit for me anyway.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” It’s partly a lie. I thought for sure they were going to get married, but I have a feeling it’s what she needs to hear, especially after she dumped him for smothering her. Sometimes I think she regrets it, but who am I to judge? I don’t want to be in a relationship, either. Because I hate the part that comesafterbelieving I’ve finally found my person. The part where “my person” shows his true colors, after the damage has been done and I’ve already become emotionally invested. The part where he lets me down.
Everyone lets down the person they love eventually.
Hadley interrupts my thoughts with a hug, then stands. “All right. Let’s get ready. We’re on that stage in less than an hour.”
I clear my throat. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
