“Did you know the owners of the farm go to Harvest Valley Church?” she asks.
“I didn’t. But it seems like all of Meadow Hills attends your congregation, so that doesn’t surprise me.”
She exhales a laugh. “All of Meadow Hills. Except you, right?”
“Well, I’m only here temporarily.” Saying that out loud makes my chest ache, but I ignore it. “Still…I can’t really claim that anymore, can I?” We turn a corner, where a section of the maze narrows, and a hanging skeleton swings gently in the breeze. The dim lights strung through this area make the hollow sockets of its eyes look like they’re watching us. “Not since you sucked me in with that pretty singing voice of yours.”
She blushes. “Thanks. But I hope—I mean I’d like to believe I’m not the reason you’ve been continuing to go. I’d like to believe God has more to do with it.”
“Romilly…” If only she knew the way I’ve wrestled with not going to church, hoping God wouldn’t be disappointed in me as long as I continued to deepen my relationship with Him.
“I’m sorry,” she says quickly. “We don’t have to talk about this if it makes you uncomfortable.” The cornstalks rustle in the wind, their dry leaves brushing against each other with a sound like whispers. Romilly pulls closer to me, her hand clutching mine more tightly.
“No, it’s all right. When I said church wasn’t my thing anymore, it was because of my church back home.Yourchurchis nothing like mine.” I swallow, trying to decide where to start. “I’ve honestly been so scared that avoiding church in general has disappointed God, and I’ve prayed about it a lot. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but my parents love to pressure me. I never live up to their expectations, and they always try to get me to look a certain way to their church friends, so I don’t embarrass them because everyone there is crazy judgmental. When I got my first tattoo, none of my friends were allowed to talk to me anymore. And when I started smoking, which I admit was a huge mistake, there was only more judgment. Never compassion.” My heart thuds as I rehash one of the many old wounds I still haven’t recovered from.
“Oh, wow,” she says, her voice laced with understanding and compassion. “I’m so sorry that happened. And during all that, did you ever blame God for what you went through?”
I consider her question carefully.Did I?“I think I might have at one point, but not anymore. I know now that's not how God intended the church to be. It’s taken a lot to show me there are rotten people in every category of humanity, but also plenty of good people in those same categories. Including your Harvest Valley lot. And blaming an entire group for the actions of a few might not be fair.” I laugh sarcastically. “In fact, it might be equally as judgy.”
When I turn to look at her, she’s staring back at me with an odd expression. “Well, I’m glad you changed your mind.”
We’ve stopped walking, and I can’t help but fully face her, lean in closer. “Well, a huge part of that has been you. You’re nothing like the judgy people I’m used to, who treat religion as a status and a way to control people when it’s supposed to be a gift. A place of community. You’re kind and understanding and so, so generous. I’m convinced if love were a person, it would be you.”
Romilly’s lips part. “Bash…”
“I’m sorry. Was that too much?”
She shakes her head, searching my face. Her lips press together in a faint, soft smile. “Those are very pretty words.”
“I meant every one of them.”
She places her hands on my cheeks and pulls my face closer to hers. The distant sound of laughter from the festival fades as I focus entirely on her. The earthy scent of the maze mixed with the faint floral notes of her perfume wraps around me. My chest hammers like I’m fourteen, like this is my first interaction with a beautiful woman.
And this isn’t just any beautiful woman.
This is Romilly.
The most beautiful soul I’ve ever met.
When she gently presses her lips to mine, a warmth spreads through me, like curling up under a blanket on a cold night. A tenderness for her makes me pull her closer so I can wrap my arms around her. My chest swells with something unfamiliar—some unnamed emotion that makes me feel desperate and crazed, lightheaded and elated.
Infatuation,I tell myself.Genuine friendship at best. Because she's my boss and I'm leaving after my next fight. Getting attached to her is a bad idea because whatever’s happening between us can’t last.
But no matter what I tell myself, it’s clear I have feelings for her. What those feelings are, I’m not sure, but what Idoknow is I can’t deny them anymore.
Kissing her feels like breathing for the first time. And now that I’ve done it, I fear it’s become essential to my survival.
Romilly breaks away.
“Maybe we should sit down,” she says.
“Why?”
“Because kissing you makes me feel weak. And because it doesn’t seem like we’re getting out of here any time soon.”
I grin. “Are you finally accepting that this maze isn’t really haunted?”
“I’m coming around to the idea.”
