Mabel blinks, her lips wobbling up into a smile. “Love you, too.”
“Yeah, Dot. You’re our girl.” Rue reaches over and hugs me.
I close my eyes, a smile forming on my own lips. I missed this. I missed having friends and I forgot how much I needed them until now.
If there’s one thing this whole mess with Zayne, Carlton, and Little Birdie has given me to be thankful for,I think silently,it’s them.
My friends.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I do my best at the following rehearsals, no matter how much it pains me to see Zayne, to avoid his attempts to speak to me, or listen to him call after me when I run in the other direction between scenes.
I endure his presence over the rest of the week, and on Friday, I tell myself it’s almost over. This is the last rehearsal, the last chance to work out any kinks before tomorrow’s performance.
Opening night.
I sling my backpack over my shoulder as I walk to the drama room. It’s Saturday, and I contemplated not bringing a backpack, full of schoolwork I’ll hopefully be able to get to during any downtime I have backstage. Now that I’m no longer dating Zayne, my brain has cleared him out and called my attention to more important things, like my slowly deteriorating GPA.
I try my best not to look in his direction when I open the door to the green room, but I can’t help it. I glance at him, sitting at a table with Jude and some other drama kids I never talk to. As if he can sense my gaze, Zayne glances up, meeting my stare. He looks solemn; resigned. It’s like he’s given up trying to explainto me what happened. Like he’s given up hope on earning my forgiveness, on our relationship.
I ignore the feeling like a knife in my chest and remind myself:That’s exactly what you wanted him to do.
I set my stuff down on the table my friends are at. Mabel is applying stage makeup with a small, rhinestone compact in her other hand, and Meredith is digging through her purse. “Stupid bag,” she mutters. “It’s like iteatseverything important.”
“Actually, you’re just nervous,” says Mabel. “And if you’re looking for your falsies, I have them in my bag.”
“Oh.” Meredith relaxes. “Thanks.”
“Hey, D.” Rue waves at me from her spot next to Mabel. She’s resting her chin on her duffel bag, looking exhausted but done up in her practice look for tonight.
“You look great.” I take a seat next to her and gesture to her face. “Can you do mine, too?”
She smiles. “Sure.” But her smile falters a bit when I follow her stare, past me, to Zayne and his friends. She touches my hand. “It’s going to be okay. You could always still, you know, talk to him.”
I shake my head. “I have nothing to say.”
Mr. Saltzman claps his hands at the front of the room. “We’ll start in about twenty minutes. Be ready to blow my socks off. ” He stares around the room. “You’re an amazing group of actors. You should be proud of yourselves.I’mproud to have you all in my production.”
A collective, murmured, “Aw,” floats around the room, and we shuffle out of our seats to put the finishing touches on our costumes.
I’m already dressed in my first look, which is Cathy as a ghost, when Mr. Saltzman approaches me. He lowers his glasses down to the bridge of his nose as he looks me in the eye. “I’m not sure what’s going on with you and Zayne, Dot.” His mouthcurves downward. “But whatever it is, I need you to clear it up before opening night.”
Shame burns my face, and I struggle to maintain eye contact with him. “I’m sorry for letting my own business affect the play, Mr. Saltzman.”
“I don’t want to see it happen again.”
The way he looks at me makes me feel like I got onstage and forgot all my lines. “I promise it won’t,” I say.
“I hope you’re right. And I expect you to bring the same chemistry to rehearsal as you would tomorrow’s performance. No more miming the romance scenes with Zayne. I don’t care if you hate his guts in real life. Onstage, he’s the love of your life.” He pushes his glasses back up on his face and walks away.
I take a deep breath to recover some of my confidence and swallow down the burning in my throat.
Stages have nothing to do with how I feel about Zayne.
Onstage, he’s the love of my life, and offstage, he’s no different.
Luckily, I have some time before my first scene. I need to mentally prepare myself to kiss Zayne today instead of miming it like I’ve done the past few rehearsals. In fact, I’ll have to kiss him multiple times, and it’s all I can think about because he’s no ordinary kisser. I’m pretty sure kissing him for the first time is what pushed my feelings over the edge when I was still trying to fight them.
