“Abandon you?” His voice rose in anger. “I am not Blake.”
“And I won’t be a countess in a castle, when I can barely move around this small cottage unassisted.”
“That’s not true. You’re doing fine on your own. You’re just letting this situation with your staff unnerve you. If you’d just let me be your husband, protect you and care for you?—”
“I don’t want to be taken care of!” she interrupted. “Do you not see what you’re trying to do?”
“I’m trying to propose!”
“And I’m saying no. Please step away from the table.” She rose up, mortified that her legs felt shaky and not her own. He’d done that to her, made her body more his than hers, since he knew what to do with it, how to coerce and seduce her. “I need you to leave, Robert.”
“Audrey—”
“Just … give me a few days. I need to think, and I can’t do that right now.”
“Very well,” he said stiffly. “You think about what I said, what we feel for each other, how things could be between us.”
“Oh believe me, I see how things could be,” she said bitterly.
He sighed. “Don’t, Audrey. Don’t turn a thing of mutual pleasure into something sordid.”
“You did that, Robert, not I. Please go now.”
She heard the doors of the dining room open, felt a current of cooler air, and heard his footsteps fade away into the front of the house.
She couldn’t cry. Except for during Molly’s illness, she hadn’t cried since she put the death of her baby behind her, forbid herself to wallow in self-destructive grief.
But oh, she ached inside with confusion and pain.
WasRobert just trying to show her how he felt in a way he couldn’t say with words? Before coming to Rose Cottage, she had only known one other man unrelated to her, and his words and caresses had been lies. How was one to know the difference?
She’d asked Robert for time to think, and that had been the right thing to do. She had to wait for this passion and grief to leave her, so that she could consider everything rationally.
But inside, she felt … different, changed, new to herself. And she wasn’t certain this knowledge was a good thing.
Audrey didn’t sleepwell that night. Too many times, she awoke with Robert’s scent in her nose, or the memory of his hands working magic on her body. Lethargic and sad the next morning, she was frustrated with her mind and body for being unable to forget, and craving that sensation again.
Hard work would make her forget, and she didn’t need Robert for that, or even a pair of working eyes. She decided to inspect Evelyn’s cleaning and could tell with her nose and fingers that at least the dirt was swept up and the furniture polished.
While she was in the middle of lifting a corner of the drawing room rug to feel beneath, she heard the light tap of Evelyn’s shoes.
“Ma’am, is somethin’ wrong?”
“Just doing a little inspection, Evelyn,” she said pleasantly. “Should I have a reason to be concerned?”
“N-no, ma’am,” the girl answered.
Audrey frowned. “You don’t need to fear me, Evelyn, you know that, don’t you?”
“Y-yes, ma’am.”
The maid’s nervous behavior lingered in Audrey’s thoughts as she went into her study and found the most recent ledger. Robert had gone over it, but she wanted to hear the numbers herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him where her household was concerned; she simply wanted to rely on herself.
She took the ledger up to Molly’s room, and she could tell by the maid’s voice that she was standing at the window.
“I’m up and about more and more, Miss Audrey,” Molly said.
Her happiness was almost contagious, and Audrey found herself smiling for the first time all day.
