Her lips were sweetly parted, so still at first that he knew he’d shocked her. He pressed several gentle kisses along the full lower curve, gradually deepening until he could just taste the warmth between. He cupped the back of her head, tilting her, and with a breathless moan she opened her mouth to him.
He explored her, gently teased her tongue until she met his. Then the kiss turned bolder, more passionate, and he couldn’t get enough of the taste of her. He felt the press of her body against him, and even with all the clothes separating them, it was alluring and encompassing and all that mattered.
He knew with a certainty that he wanted her to be a scandalous widow and take him as her lover.
Audrey was lost in the heat, the urgency, the sensations of Robert taking possession of her mouth, her very will. She could feel the long press of his body against hers, the power, the forcefulness that made refusing unthinkable.
She broke the kiss then, suddenly frightened at how easily he swept away all her restraint, all her promises to never need another man.
“I—I can’t,” she whispered. “Please don’t ask me to.”
She was still in his arms, and he didn’t let her go as he said in a hoarse voice, “I didn’t intend this to happen but I did enjoy it. Will you accept my apology?”
“Perhaps … perhaps if you would release me first.”
And then he did, and she had to put her hand against the desk to hold herself upright, as if she could no longer stand without his support.
She didn’t need anyone’s support, she told herself. But it was more difficult than she’d imagined, playing the role of his fiancée, pretending to be drawn to each other, and not making it happen for real.
He’d promised to take Molly’s role in her life, and when he wasn’t there yesterday, she’d felt almost helpless, something so alien to her nature. She was seeing how much she depended on Molly—on another person—to guide her through the sighted world. And it was frightening to know she could never have full independence because of her blindness.
But she couldn’t use him to bring back her confidence. Only she could do that for herself.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Robert,” she said at last, when all she could hear was his ragged breathing. “But I’ve told you I won’t play the scandalous widow to your rake. I am not interested in an affair.”
“I know,” he murmured, “and I didn’t mean to try to convince you. Hell, I don’t know what I was trying to do. I just saw you there, looking sweet and irresistible, and I kissed you. And then I thought, What would be wrong with an affair?”
“No. Now sit over there,” she said, pointing to the other side of the desk. “Let’s keep some distance here.”
“Is that for my benefit or yours?”
He was teasing her again, and she tried to relax. “Yours,” she answered firmly.
“I am just a man, Audrey, no paragon.”
“No one is perfect,” she said, sighing as she sat down. “Least of all me. Just to prove how not-perfect I am, shall I tell you what happened yesterday?”
“What happened?” The amusement was gone from his voice.
“Do not over-worry. I started out the day surprisingly well. I met with Mr. Drayton, and we discussed the problems my tenants brought forth. We even discussed the finances, and my ability to hold a feast to celebrate a successful harvest and get to know everyone.”
“Will it be possible?”
“It will. I would have liked to invite the poor of the parish, but he says that would put too deep a strain on us this year. But maybe next.”
“And this is why you’re not perfect?” he asked, bemused.
“Oh, no, let me tell you about my next idea.” She put a finger to her lips, then rose, circled the desk and went to shut the door.
“Now who’s scandalous?” he asked.
“We’re engaged. Just listen.” She returned to her leather chair. “I decided it was time to get to know Mr. Sanford better. I seldom actually see him, and when I do, his voice sounds so gruff and … disapproving. I don’t need his approval, mind you, but I would like harmony in my home, and I thought if we had some time together …” She sighed. “It was a good idea, but not very successful. I decided to have Erebus saddled and take my first ride.”
“Without Molly or me?”
“You sound indignant, Robert. Why is that?”
“I wanted to be with you your first ride through your new estate. But I imagine you don’t want to hear that.”
