She felt the barest brush along her arm and pulled away. “I can’t force you to leave, Robert, but I need you to do so, to stop visiting me.”
“I won’t give up, Audrey. I’ve fallen in love with you, and somehow I’ll find a way to prove it to you, to make you believe.”
“You’re just hurting me!” she whispered, backing away. “And for all I know, you’re only concerned because there might be a child.”
“And I would love our child, even as I love you.”
She whirled and departed for her study, feeling the sting of tears she’d become so good at suppressing. She slammed the door hard, and barely resisted sliding down to the floor. She didn’t want to think of their child, or how it would force her to marry, make her give up her independence. She wouldn’t want her child to suffer Arthur’s fate, that of a nameless bastard.
And she wanted to cry because she’d spent the last three days missing Robert terribly, had felt everything brighten the moment he’d arrived to share the tenant feast with her. And he’d destroyed all that. All along she’d been softening toward him, imagining him lonely but for the memories of a brother he’d never been permitted to love, parents who hadn’t loved him. If he knew, he’d think she was pityinghim,she thought bitterly. Everything was so complicated.
When Michael and Cecilia were preparing to leave later that morning, Audrey felt composed, although she imaginedshe could not hide that something was wrong. She was simply grateful that Robert would be leaving as well.
But he didn’t plan to leave, had even brought his own horse, to her frustration.
As the men were saying their good-byes, she felt a touch on her arm.
“Audrey, may I speak privately with you?” Cecilia asked.
“Of course.” Curious in spite of herself, Audrey led the way across the hall to her study, then turned to await what the other woman had planned.
“Robert has said nothing to either Michael or I, but I can see that problems have appeared overnight. You both seemed so happy yesterday.”
Audrey hesitated, but she didn’t want to lie—lies were what had put her in this position. “I discovered … some unsettling truths.”
“Was it about their military service and the terrible tragedy that took my father’s life, along with your husband’s?”
Audrey nodded without elaborating, unable to bear the thought of one more person’s pity. “Did Michael withhold the truth from you?”
Cecilia sighed aloud. “He did, and probably for the same reasons Robert did—guilt and shame. I don’t think we could punish them any more than they’ve already punished themselves.”
“This isn’t about punishment,” Audrey said tightly, “but trust.”
“I withheld things from Michael, painful things about my family and our past. I told myself it wasn’t his business, or even that I didn’t want to relive everything.”
“But thiswasmy business—this concerned my dead husband.”And me, when Robert hid his reasons for courting me. How many times can I believe what a man tells me?
She’d withheld the truth about her baby—but that didn’t affect Robert at all. It was her private sorrow, something she was trying to leave in the past as she began her new life.
Or did it concern him? Did it give him a complete picture of her, one he deserved? She was so confused.
“Audrey,” Cecilia said, “it is not my place to try to change your mind. I only ask that you give it much thought before making any final decisions. I cannot tell you how wonderfully happy the two of you looked together. Michael told me he’d always hoped Robert would at last find the family he deserved.”
Those words were as sharp and painful as a knife, but she forced herself to nod. “Thank you for the advice, Cecilia. I will keep it in mind.”
“Write to me, please? I would truly like to consider you a friend.”
“I will. I have to warn you—my handwriting is atrocious.”
Cecilia chuckled, and they hugged in parting.
After Michael and Cecilia had gone, Robert and Audrey stood in the entrance hall for a frozen moment. She heard the tap of Blythe’s slippers as she walked away.
“Audrey, we should talk,” Robert asked.
“No.” She turned and closed the study door behind her.
But all day long, he remained at Rose Cottage, and she was forced to encounter him whatever she did. He didn’t try to force her to listen to explanations, he was always just … there.
