When I look up, Cal’s watching me. “You’d better be careful. Helping someone is one thing. Helping a smart, beautiful woman who lives across the street and is not inclined to roll over at your bark . . .” He whistles quietly, a grin spreading across his weathered face. “It might appear to some as if youlikehelping her.” He winks.
The guys cackle as if it’s the funniest damn thing they’ve ever heard. “Shut your asses up and get to work. I’ve got to meet Krissy.”
They laugh harder, but Cal’s words linger like pig shit on a hot day. I’m unwilling to admit that driving Sarah to work really hasn’t been that bad.
I grab my coat and keys, also not wanting to think about when her car is fixed, she won’t need me to do that anymore.
______
“Look at this.” Krissy swings her arms wide and spins in the middle of the furnished living room. “Look at all this space.”
The townhouse smells of fresh paint and carpet glue. I peek out the window, surveying the street and the falling sun. “Have you calculated the monthly utilities?”
Her arms fall to her sides, her shoulders drooping. “You’re such a buzz kill with all your anal, mature questions.”
I shove my hands into my pockets. “You won’t live here long if you can’t afford it.”
She rolls her eyes. “I have a spreadsheet, Stone Cold. I can make it work if I’m reasonable with the thermostat and Starbucks, and watch the games at your house. I’ll still be maxing out my 401k and havesome left for savings,” she says like she’s totally annoyed by planning for the future.
“So, you’re moving out but mooching off my sports packages?”
She shrugs, wandering back into the spacious kitchen. “If the guys can, I should be able to. I’ve put up with your strict sour ass far longer than they have.”
“They pay me for a portion of the subscription.”
She turns toward me, her jaw dropping. “What?! Really?”
“And they bring beer and snacks.”
She huffs. “Uh. Those little suck-ups. Fine. I’ll bring wine and maybe contribute a snack, but nothing homemade. You can nag Wind for all the fancy stuff he makes.” She jabs a finger at me. “Besides, you’re going to miss me.”
I turn away, inspecting the cabinets. She’s not wrong. I will miss her. It’s been the two of us for a long time.
“You know it’s time.” Her voice turns soft.
She’s right about that, too. It’s just that I barely remember a time when I wasn’t taking care of her.
“It’ll be weird not having you just downstairs or knowing that you’ll be waiting up for me when I get home.”
“I don’t wait up,” I grumble, glancing at her over my shoulder.
Her blue eyes rise to mine from underneath her long, dark eyelashes.
How in the hell does she know I wait up?
“You know, it might be good for you to finally have the place to yourself and see what life has to offer.”
I want her soft, tentative words to bounce off my back and drop dead, but instead, they stick like battery acid, corroding my calloused surface.
“Maybe it’s time for you to start taking care of yourself and figure out what you want.”
“I have everything I want.” It comes out more forcefully than I had hoped.
The long beats of silence force me to look at her. She rests against the counter, arms crossed over her small body. I see the defiant thirteen year old all over again, unwilling to take a single ounce of solid advice until she comes to the conclusion on her own.
“I call bullshit, bro. I may have been young, but don’t think I’ve forgotten Melissa and what that was like. What you were like before and after.”
It’s been twelve years, but just the mention of her name stirs a wave of remorse. I was twenty and stupid, having to watch my mom disintegrate to nothing right before my eyes. I was weak and vulnerable and had my whole life turned upside down, suddenly responsible for a teenage girl.
