I squeeze him against my leg as Frankie pats my cheeks and presses her face to mine. “I bet they eat broccoli.”
He giggles. “No. Dat’s gross. They’re too smart to eat broccoli.”
“I had to stop by the store to pick up a prescription, so I grabbed milk and a few other things,” Helen says, zipping her coat and patting her pockets for her keys like it’s no big deal.
“It’s my turn for t-t-treats next week.” Ollie spins, running off to the living room.
When Helen’s smiling eyes finally meet mine, they turn soft. I suck in my stomach to contain my rolling emotions and the feelings of complete failure.
“Thank you,” I offer softly.
She reaches for my hand and squeezes. “Your grandmother helped me when I needed it most. There’s hamburger casserole in the fridge for you to pop in the oven.”
I hug her tightly. I don’t deserve to have a Helen.
She gathers her purse over her shoulder, and I walk her to the front door.
“S-see you tomorrow, Miss Helen!” Ollie hollers, sinking to the floor with Grover, his fox readying to take flight.
“His teacher mentioned a speech pathologist. She gave me her name and number and said getting Ollie evaluated might be a good idea.”
My shoulders slump, and Frankie’s arms wrap around my neck. Ollie used to work with someone when I didn’t have to worry about bills and collection agencies. Since then, his speech has regressed, and his stutter has become more prominent. It’s worse when he’s nervous or unsure, and kids don’t understand his struggle.
“She also said there’s an early intervention program that offers scholarships you can apply for.”
I clench my jaw, not wanting to think about scholarships. None of this would be an issue if Miles weren’t a selfish prick and I weren’t so stupid to believe his lies.
She pats my arm. “Ok. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Frankie waves her little chubby fingers from the doorway.
Helen turns and blows a kiss. “Bye-bye, sweet girl.”
I close the door and lock it, carrying Frankie to the couch. I sit in the middle with her on my lap, and she rests her head against my chest. The fox soars with Ollie and Grover trailing behind as it lands beside me. He climbs and settles into my side while Grover plops at my feet.
I take a deep breath, reminding myself that they are safe and we are together. My eyes burn, and my nose stings. I lower my chin to kiss the top of Frankie’s head, breathing her in.
There was a time when I dreamed of making it out of the place I felt stuck in, adhered to based on circumstances. I worked my ass off and ticked off one goal after another.
I did it. I became what no one thought I could be. Then, I got caught up in a web of lies I never saw coming. But even now, I wouldn’t change a damn thing. Ollie and Frankie are worth everysingle minute of heartache, struggle, and disappointment. They’re all that matters.
So, I will do this. Whatever needs to be done. I’ll work my ass off. I know how to do that.
I close my eyes, picturing what once was. The woman I was proud of.
“Are you guys hungry?”
“I want Goldfish.” Ollie lays his fox down as Frankie’s head pops up.
“Me. Me.” Frankie pats her chest.
“Guys, we don’t have Goldfish.”
“Yes, we do.” Ollie hops off the couch and runs to the kitchen.
Helen.Of course, we do. I strap Frankie into her booster.
I pour the fish and grab my notebook.
