I inhale, taking in the feel of her as she’s trying to reassure me. I need patience, but I’m no fucking good at that.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” I need a minute to get my head straight and try to figure out how to be afraid in all of thiswithher.
She lifts her head, her chin resting against my chest. “You sure you’re ok?”
I stare into her eyes, so incredibly extraordinary, I’m not sure I’ll ever fullybe used to them.
Three words I never thought I’d say again are on the verge of spilling out. I hold them back, protecting myself from not hearing her say them in return.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
I lean down and kiss her lips lightly, then pull on my coat to go home. I carry myself through my house to the shower. It’s not where I want to be. I want to be back with Sarah on her couch or, better yet, in her bed.
I rest my hands against the shower wall, hearing the guys call me out for not telling her straight up that I love her. I do. So incredibly much.
But what if her hesitation is because she isn’t quite readyto love me back?
Chapter 49
SARAH
My phone buzzes. I blink my eyes open to the early morning light, surprised not to have a small leg draped over me. I snatch it off the nightstand and swipe to answer.
“Shouldn’t you still be sleeping?”
“I haven’t gone to bed yet.” Roxie’s excited voice fills my ear, and I pull the phone away to turn the volume down. “Did you see?!”
I run a hand over my face. “See what?” I groan, not having any idea what’s so urgent this early.
I roll onto my side and close my eyes, remembering Slade’s abrupt goodbye last night. He said he was fine, but I know better.
I watched the big, gruff man read and be silly with my kids, and then I heard Ollie tell him he loved him. My stomach soared, and my throat ached. Whatever is happening between Slade and me is one thing, but I have two small, vulnerable hearts that could get broken.
Slade hasn’t said how he feels, and I hope he’s falling in love with me right back. But asking him to love and be a constant in two kids’ lives is another thing entirely. I can’t stand to see Ollie’s heart broken by another man.
Roxie huffs, and I’m pulled back from dozing off.
“Seriously, have you not been paying attention? Miles.” She grounds out his name.
I yawn. “Rox. I love you, but I don’t care what Miles is doing at the moment.” I’m in love with the gentle beast across the street. I’vejust got to be sure he loves me and will love my kids, too, before I throw myself at him again. And this time, it won’t be in my driveway.
I caught him looking at me in the kitchen last night. I know what he was thinking. I’ve been having lots of the same tempting thoughts, and my body is ready. But my heart needs to be certain it’s just as safe.
She groans. “Sarah, get up. Right now!”
“Rox, whaaaatt?” I whine, rolling myself.
“There are Two. Women. Talking,” she enunciates clearly.
My eyes pop open, and I sit up straight. “What?”
“They’re saying Miles slept with them while they were interns. He hit it and quit it, and they’re coming for him.”
I remain perfectly still. Evaluating this news.
Is this a good thing? I’m not sure. Regardless of how much I despise Miles, he’s Ollie and Frankie’s father, and I’ve never wanted them to be affected by this side of him. But if I’ve learned anything recently, it’s that I can’t protect them from everything.
I try to sort through all my questions. “When did this happen?”
