“Yeah. So.” I shrug. “It’s like tying your shoes. You know how long it took me to be able to do it.”
He shakes his head.
“Forever. All the other kids could, but I still had to have help. They made fun of me for having to ask the teacher to tie my shoes because I couldn’t. Said I was a baby.”
“I can’t t-tie my shoes.”
“Not yet, but you will. And the more you practice talking slowly and carefully, the better you’ll get at it.”
“I’m already getting b-better.”
“Just think where you’ll be a month from now.”
His head dips to his shoulder. “How long is dat?”
I huff a laugh, and he settles his hands in his crossed legs.
“Can you come t-t-talk to my class about c-cars?” His shy eyes focus on his hands. “My dad doesn’t wive here. He wouldn’t want to.”
I still, knowing this is important, and do not want to screw it up. “Definitely, but let me talk to your mom about it. Ok?”
He nods, grinning. “Mama wikes you.”
I ruffle his hair, and he pops up, jumping off the bed. Grover barks, following him to the living room.
“I hope she more than likes me,” I mumble.
I sit in the recliner, and Ollie digs through the basket of books. Frankie toddles over in her soft footie jammies and tries to climb up my legs. I breathe in her clean baby scent, lifting her over my head, and she giggles.
I set Frankie on one leg, and Ollie climbs up on the other.
“Not the crabby peddler again,” I groan, and Ollie scrunches into a ball, grinning ear to ear.
We’ve read this book the past three nights while Sarah sits on the couch working on schoolwork.
I growl as the peddler yells at the monkeys, and the kids join in. Frankie waves her fist in the air, chanting gibberish.
I glance at Sarah, and she’s watching me. She smiles, but it’s not the full deal. She blinks, and whatever is in her eyes is gone, but my stomach squeezes tight.
Once she’s asleep, Sarah carries Frankie to her crib, and I take Ollie, whose head bobbed as we finished the last book.
I lie him in his bed, and he grips my neck, hugging me.
“Can we go to the p-p-park tomorrow?” His sleepy voice whispers.
I want to say yes, even in the cold and snow. I want to tell him I’ll come to his school and that I’ll be there for every other thing as long as he wants me there. I want to give him what I never had, but I’m not in a place to do that.
“I think you should get some sleep.”
He hugs my neck tightly. “I wove you, Swade.”
I close my eyes, sealing his words up tight, wanting to hold onto them. “Good night, partner.”
I straighten and turn to find Sarah in the doorway, her head resting against it. Her gaze holds mine, and it’s that look again. My gut pinches, but I shove it away, dismissing the worry building.
She grabs my hand, and I follow her to the couch. She drops down onto it, and I sit beside her just as we have each night.
She rests her head on my shoulder, and I link her hand with mine, needing the closeness.
