Her shoulders sag. “I know, but I need someone who wants to work on fixing things together.”
Her eyes hold mine for only a moment longer before she turns and pushes out the door.
I stand there, unmoving, while my gut twists into a knot. I was only trying to help, but I also needed to be sure that she and the kids weren’t going anywhere.
I yank my hat off my head and toss it on the counter.Fuck!
I rest my elbows on the edge and let my head fall into my hands, gripping my hair.
I’m so damn angry, but only at myself. All I wanted to do was make sure Macavoy helped this time. He could drive her ex into the ground like the piece of shit deserves.
I only wanted to protect her and make sure she never has to be afraid of him or what he might do again.
She trusted me, and I let her down. I could see it in her eyes. I grip the counter, wanting to rip it off.Ahhhh!
She said she couldn’t do this, which meant she couldn’t do this with me.
I blow out a breath, my eyes burning with anger and fear that I might have just fucked up the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to me. The one person who sees right through me, even though I’ve given her so little.
I straighten, not having any idea how to make this better, but I have to. This one ignorant screw-up can’t cost me what I’m not sure I’ll ever fully deserve—Sarah and her kids. I have to show Sarah I want nothing more than to be her partner. I want to be the one who stands by her side through it all. I want to protect her and the kids, always.
But I’m going to have to figure out how to do that.
Chapter 44
SARAH
I kiss Ollie’s cheek and tuck the covers around him, then check on Frankie before crawling into bed. I’ve held myself together all day, and I’m done now.
I curl into a ball, and my throat is consumed by a wildfire, raging to burn everything I’ve been containing. My body shakes with silent sobs that burst up and out of my eyes. I’m scared, alone, and so damn frustrated that the one place I want to go is across the street so Slade can tell me it will all be ok.
I’m mad that I want him to comfort me, but I do, and that’s the worst of all. But what I told him was true. I can’t be with him if he doesn’t communicate or if he’s going to do things behind my back.
I spent too many years with Miles treating me as if I were some kind of pet he’d take out when it suited him. We were never partners or equals. I was just the woman at home while he was out living his life like I didn’t exist.
I know that’s not Slade, but what he did felt all too familiar.
My mind is still reeling from what he told me—Griffin is his father. It only proves how little he has trusted me with himself, and it hurts all on its own when I’ve shared such personal details with him.
I pull my phone from my nightstand. It rings, and I hear her pick up.
“Mom.” My voice quivers, and I try not to cry all over again.
“Honey, are you ok? What’s wrong?”
Just her voice causes me to let loose, and I can’t speak.
“Sarah, what’s going on? Are the kids—”
“They’re ok.” I squeak. “I’m just . . .” I don’t even know. I’m angry, sad, and so damn tired.
“Is this about Miles? I saw they announced his move.” Her voice is filled with gentle worry.
Yes, it’s about Miles. I’m exhausted from his demands and threats and the fear tied to them. But it’s also about Slade and what I wanted that to be. It’s freaking everything.
I hear frenzy and things banging and clanging. “Sarah, I’m getting in the car.”
“No.” I sit up a little, pulling myself together. I wipe my face with the hem of my shirt and suck back all of the snot. “I just need you to listen and help me figure out what to do.”
