His tight hold loosens only slightly as his forehead falls to mine. I stare back, afraid all words have taken flight for eternity.
I run my fingers over my puffy lips, the skin tingling in the best possible way. His fingers drag across my waist, as his hold slowly slips away.
I inhale a deep breath and take a step backward, unsure if a grin is about to break free or some kind of maniacal laughter because I’m not sure what in the ever-loving hell I just did.
I blink, retreating, and he watches me, his face partially masked by his moist breath.
I turn and charge back toward the house, wanting to run but maintaining steady strides.
I push open the door, step inside, and lock it.
Ho-ly shit.
My fingers run over my mouth again. I’ve been kissed before, but freaking hell, I’ve never been kissed like that. I smile, biting my lip, knowing with one hundred percent certainty I need that to happen again. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe it can’t happen again.
My body slumps, hearing Frankie’s cries coming from her room as risky elation crashes into reality. I run a hand over my face, scrubbing it away.
All I know is I can’t stand to screw this up or lose one more thing. Mainly the big man across the street, who’s becoming insanely important to me. The kind of important I don’t want to think about having to live without.
I blow air out of my cheeks.
Well, shit. What in the hell am I supposed todo now?
Chapter 40
SARAH
“You did what?!”
“I knnooooowww.” I bury my face in my hands.
“Sarah, what the hell? Wait! Was it fantastic, or is this a call to tell me you’d been fantasizing about it only to find out it was like kissing a slimy, dead fish?”
I laugh. There was absolutely nothing dead about what happened in my driveway last night. I have never been kissed like that before, and I’m fairly certain I won’t ever again. Unless it’s Slade.
Heat creeps through my core just thinking about it, and I shiver. “Nope. It was so much better than I even imagined.”
“Yes!” Roxie squeals.
“No!” I stop her celebration, bringing us both back to reality.
“No?! Why no?”
“Because,” I whine, leaning back against the couch. I bend my legs, and Ollie lines wooden train track pieces underneath, using them as a tunnel.
“Sarah, it’s a Christmas miracle. You just had the best kiss of your life with a man who’s not only stealthy, sweet-as-pie but who looks like a bearded, flannelly-tattooed Superman. There is no room for nos here of any kind. You’ve needed this for sooooo long.”
“But, Rox, Miles is suing me for custody, and if he wins like he does at everything else in life, I’ll be moving to New York. There’s noway Ollie and Frankie will go to the East Coast without me.” I exhale. “And. . .I don’t want to hurt Slade.”
He told me about thinking he was going to be a father and wanting to get married, only to have that all ripped away at the same time his mom died. I can’t fathom the wave of devastation and grief that hit him, then also having to care for and protect Krissy. I understand why he’s closed off and distant. That kind of heartbreak would shut anyone down.
He’s so kind and gentle under all that scowl, but that doesn’t mean he’s looking for anything more than a friendly hook-up. My body slumps with the possibility.
“Sarah.” She says my name like I’m being overly cautious. “You have lived your life around Miles long enough. You cannot move to New York, and he cannot gain custody of the kids. You have to fight, not only for Ol and Frank but for yourself. You deserve to be happy and be able to say all the yeses to a guy like Slade.”
“But I don’t know how to do that when my weapons are limited.” Frustration fills me for once again being a victim of Miles’s egocentrism.
“Uh. . .don’t you work for some of the best family law attorneys? And let’s not forget this man has spent his career sleeping his way around the newsroom. I’m sure we can dig up a disgruntled one-time cleaning-closet buddy or two who’d be more than happy to spill those beans.”
