“Not tonight, no,” I say, throwing back a swig of vodka number one.
“Good. I’ve seen enough violence to last me several lifetimes.” He sure has. I can’t even begin to imagine some of the fucked-up shit he’s witnessed. And maybe even experienced himself. “So if we’re not here for you to beat someone up, why are we here?”
I take another swig, letting the vodka settle on my tongue before swallowing it, feeling the burn scorch my throat on its way down.
“We lost a horse today,” I announce glumly.
“Oh, shit. Which one?”
“Wheeler.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It was a long shot. He came in with a neurological condition a few weeks ago that made it hard for him to stand or walk safely.The vet prescribed meds, but it didn’t help. He had a seizure this morning. I had to make the call to let him go.”
“That’s such a hard thing to go through. You did the right thing, though. The compassionate thing.”
I lift the tumbler and take a big gulp. “Doesn’t make it any easier.”
“Is that why you look so…” Pip circles his hand in front of me. “Like this?”
“That’s part of it. It’s been a week from hell.”
“It’s only Wednesday.”
“Exactly. It started with a tough training session with Chips on Monday. He came at me and sent me flying. Everyone at the sanctuary has been pissing me off more than usual. No one uses their fucking brain. I know Maverick is doing a staff review, but he needs to hurry the fuck up and get rid of all the deadwood.”
I drain the rest of my drink. “I’ve also had a killer headache for the last two days. Bottom line, I’ve been in a mood. Which I may have taken out on a few staff…and Maverick.”
Pip’s eyebrows shoot up. “What did you do?”
I shuffle in my seat, not proud of the way I spoke to him today. “I was rude to him. Flipped him off in front of his friend. Refused to meet him in his office. Basically told him that even though he owns the place, he’s not the boss of me, and I can do whatever the fuck I want.”
Pip’s mouth falls open. “Why did you do that? I thought after the way you two were the other night at Clancy’s, things would be moving in a totally different direction. A direction that involved less clothes.”
I’d wondered about that, too. I had a really good time with him. He’s easy to talk to, interesting, and attentive. Fantastic boyfriend material. But I’ve well and truly fucked things up now.
“Well…” I start.
“What happened?”
I push the empty glass away and slide my second vodka to within pickup range. I’m going to need it for this. “He kissed me.”
Pip gasps. “You’re kidding?”
I circle my hand in front of my face. “Do I look like I’m kidding?”
“Holy shit! This is great.”
“It is not great. And stop smiling like that. You’re worse than Clancy. Neither of you have cute smiles, just for the record.”
“I’ll smile however and whenever I like, thank you very much. This is great news! Why do you not see that?”
I make a start on vodka number two. “You know why. Remember that little speech I made to everyone last weekend?”
That settles Pip down. Nothing like a life-changing diagnosis to snuff out the possibility of something good. He chews on a piece of ice for a while, then says, “Your condition doesn’t prevent you from pursuing something if you want to.”
“But I don’t. Not now. The timing is all wrong, and Maverick is all wrong.”
