I groan because he’s right and because even though I am an adult, I secretly love it when Sib gets her guardian on. She really is a good sister, and I know she’s going to be the best mom in the world.
Me: It’ll be good to see Sammy again and meet your brother.
Maverick: Wow. Way to fracture my sensitive ego.
I didn’t exclude him on purpose, butof coursethat’s how he’d interpret it.
Me: Something tells me your ego is fine and doesn’t need any more stroking.
Bouncy dots flash on my screen. Then disappear. Then return.
Maverick: My ego may not need any more stroking, but I can’t say the same about my…
Maverick:
A quiet chuckle slips out as I shake my head.
I’m so confused by my feelings for Maverick, and I’m so emotionally drained from telling my family today.
But also?
I amso…fucking…horny.
Light-headed with desire for Maverick.
Like dry kindling that only needs the smallest spark to set alight. So achingly close to giving in to the tension that’s beenbuzzing under my skin from the moment we met on the street outside Bunny’s.
I take a deep breath, drag my fingers through my hair so hard they dig into my scalp, and remind myself of two things.
Firstly, I’m in Clancy’s house. And even though I may have jerked off into my socks incessantly like plenty of teenage boys do, it would be highly inappropriate, not to mention just downright weird, to jerk off in his bathroom now.
And secondly, I’m already playing with fire, letting Maverick get way too close. My boundaries seem to be slipping, but that doesn’t mean I should let them fall entirely. It’d be wrong to lead him on without letting him know what he’s getting himself into with me, and I’m not prepared to do that yet.
So I take the easy way out and keep my reply light andtotallynonsexual.
Me: Hahaha… I’ll see you guys later!
12
Maverick
“Thanks for doing this. It means a lot,” I say, rolling the wheeled cooler carefully up toward Clancy’s house. Sammy is “helping” me by sitting on the lid, smiling like he’s in his own private chariot, legs swinging off the sides.
“Don’t mention it.” Wagner hefts two fold-out lawn chairs over his shoulder. “I’m eager to meet the guy you’re so smitten with.”
“Smitten? What is this? A fucking Jane Austen novel?”
Wagner grunts and eyes the cooler. “You going to be okay tonight?”
“I’ll be fine. Honestly, I’m not tempted to drink at all. Maybe it was rehab. Maybe it’s the change of environment?—”
“And keeping better company.” The disapproval seeping through his voice is unmissable. He was never a fan of my so-called friends or my ex, Luca, and it turns out he was right on both counts. They were toxic, and they all betrayed me in a way I could never have imagined.
“That, too,” I agree. “From now on, I’m happily sticking to iced tea, lemonade, and sparkling water.”
“Good man.”
Wagner tries to hide the fact under many,manylayers of gruffness, but he really is a good brother. Only two people visited me in rehab: him and Ollie. Fenner was too far away, Adair was preoccupied with getting her bill through Congress, and Dad was…well, Dad. A no-show like always. It’s nice knowing my big brother cares, and it’s extra nice he wasn’t a dick and agreed to come tonight without making me beg.
