“First impressions aren’t always accurate.”
“I guess. But nothing’s going to happen between us. It can’t.”
Clancy’s eyes soften. “Why not?”
“You know why.”
“I’m old and senile. Remind me again so I can point out to you again that despite being young and virile, you’re also stubbornly stupid.”
I push my plate away and massage my temples, the ever-present headache hammering away as usual. It happens so regularly that I barely register it. It’d be weirder if my head weren’t constantly throbbing. I turn to Clancy, wait until my vision adjusts and he’s framed perfectly in my view, and say, “Because I’m scared.”
His eyes glisten. “I know you are, Jackson. But you’re not alone in this. I’m right by your side. You’re stuck with me. You know that, right? Your OG ride or die.”
I smile at his sweet but hopeless attempt to cheer me up. “You done?”
He nods. “Yeah. I’m stuffed. You gonna finish that tuna roll?”
“No. I’ve poured too much mayo on it, and thanks to your lack of a filter, now all I see is cum.”
I collect the plates, Clancy the serving dish, and we take them over to the sink. Turning on the faucet, I hate myself for making things uncomfortable. I know Clancy will be there for me in the future because he’s always been there for me in the past.
But this is unlike anything I’ve ever faced before. I am so,soscared of losing my sight. I’m struggling to accept that my whole life, everything I know, is going to change forever. I don’t have it in me to look ahead and think about all the things I won’t ever have.
Like a boyfriend.
I have enough shit to deal with without adding a pipe dream fantasy into the mix. I’m not strong enough for that right now.
“Thanks for lunch,” I say, wiping my hands on the dish towel. “It was delicious. I should get back to the sanctuary.”
“Of course.” Clancy follows me to the door. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
I spin around to face him. “You didn’t. It’s just a lot to deal with.”
“I know it is. I just want the best for you, that’s all.”
“I know. But you and I both know things are going to get a whole lot worse really fucking soon.”
He pins me with those deep green eyes of his. “We’re going to take it one step at a time, and we’re going to get through this. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Tears well in my eyes, and I wonder if that’s another thing I’m going to lose, too. Can blind people cry? That might be the world’s dumbest question, but I honestly don’t know.
“Never forget that I’m here for you.”
I won’t.” I latch onto his hand and stare into his face, locking every last detail into my mind. His strong jawline coveredwith silvery stubble. Firm chin and taut cheeks. A surprisingly smooth forehead for someone his age, with only the faintest traces of lines etched across it. And those bright, vivid green eyes that shine with a youthful spark.
“I really think you should tell your sisters at family lunch this weekend.”
I grimace. I deliberately haven’t told them about my latest diagnosis. Verity and Sibella are already overprotective sister bears; this latest development will devastate them. I’m clinging to the idea that as long as they don’t know, things can go on as normal for just a little while longer.
“But it’s the Fourth of July. I don’t want to ruin everyone’s day.”
I feel bad enough that our weekly family dinners have turned into lunches since I can’t drive at night anymore. I don’t want to ruin what will most likely be the last big family holiday where I can actually see everyone.
Not to mention the fireworks. Another thing that’ll be gone for good.
“You said you would tell them before Verity’s birthday. And that was in May,” he says calmly but with a quiet authority.
