Why did I choose this?
Why would I have picked this time in history to come back?
Back to the ugliness and rampant racism.
Back to the sexism and the misogyny.
Back to the desecration of our mother earth.
It is so hard to watch but I am trapped.
Trapped between the veil of my soul and my human skin.
Paralyzed by fear.
Fear of not being enough.
Fear of never living up to the demand that has been placed upon my soul.
The massive undertaking of which we all have a part to play.
The destruction and the dissolution.
The rise and the fall.
The crumbling and the crusade.
The heroine's fucking journey.
Boulder laughed. “Did you hear that? She said fuck…”
I held up my hand and shushed him, wanting to hear it all.
It’s hard. And it is so dense.
It is up and it is down.
It is amazing and it is frightening.
It is everything and it is nothing all at the same time.
The reality of this reality is sometimes unbearable.
How do I witness without falling victim to it?
How do I surrender and take action?
How do I flow and stay grounded?
How do I honor myself and stay in service to others?
How do I balance the intensity of this duality?
The light and the dark
The love and the hate
The inspiration and the ignorance.
