I laughed hard at that statement and asked: “So you would rather have people be kind to you than honest?”
She creased her brow. “Yes, I suppose so.”
“That’s stupid. Sometimes you’ve just got to call out people’s bullshit.”
“You can set your personal boundaries without being unpleasant,” she argued.
“Nah, I’m the opposite. My friends can call me an ass and I wouldn’t be offended by it. It’s how we interact. I call them names and they call me names, it’s almost a sign of affection.”
“Impossible! How can offending someone be a sign of affection?” she asked.
“I don’t know, I never gave it much thought. It’s just how things are done around here. I mean we call Magni asshat all the time, and mostly because we’re jealous of him.”
“Why are you jealous?”
“That’s not important; my point is, we call him asshat and he calls us something nasty back.”
“Are you saying that no man can insult another man?” she asked.
“Of course they can.” I smiled. “And if you ask me, some men are whiners that get too easily offended. Trust me, there are plenty of ways to piss off a man.”
She tilted her head and looked intrigued. “Like what? Help me understand how men feel insulted.”
I shrugged and scratched my arm, before brushing my hair out of my eyes. “Most of all it depends on the situation and the tone. If we’re friends we can get away with most anything, but if someone is getting on my nerves I can tell him things like: you’re such a pussy, grow a pair of balls, suck my dick, stupid faggot, are you gonna cry like a little girl? Or I can tell him you’re so fucking irrational I suspect you have a vagina.”
“Wow,” Christina raised her eyebrows, “I see the common denominator here. So basically, to insult a man you have to accuse him of being feminine?”
I thought about it and leaned back against the cabinet behind me. “Hmm, I suppose that’s true.”
“Because women are weak and less than men?” she asked and started pacing the floor in front of me.
“Of course, everyone knows that,” I answered honestly.
“Then why am I here? Why did you ask the Motherlands for help if you’re all so superior to us?”
“We didn’t ask foryou.We asked for a male archeologist because we don’t have enough.”
Her pacing intensified and she was now using her hands to underline her words. “Not only have women brought back more than two hundred species that went extinct whenmenalmost killed off the entire planet, but we have found ways to clean up massive areas of land, we’ve regrown sixty-seven percent of the corals and cleaned up substantial parts of the ocean, utilizing all the plastic waste to create energy. We have invented ways for obese people to donate fat to underweight people and eradicated cancer and other awful diseases, not to mention that we have kept peace on earth for close to four hundred years.”
I looked at her, waiting for her to make her point.
“Yet you’re saying that you would be offended to be compared to a woman?” she asked.
“Of course I would. Women are too soft and emotional. You don’t think rationally and you’re suffocating people with your radical kindness shit. Men need to swear and fight, it’s in our nature.”
“I strongly disagree,” she said and placed both hands on her hips. “On our side of the border millions of men live wonderful lives without being violent or foulmouthed. They appreciate the feminine values and live in peace and harmony.” Her curly hair was breaking free from her braid and framing her pretty face with those fascinating mismatched eyes.
I got close to her and pointed my finger. “No, Christina, you’re wrong. What you have aren’tmen. They’re a gender-neutral group of pussies who’re afraid of standing up to the women, and they’re just waiting for the right man to come along and spark their flame. Trust me, menwilltake back power, it’s just a matter of time.”
She looked shaken by my sneering and her voice was a bit high-pitched. “Is that what you want, Boulder? To have men back in power when you know how close we came to absolute annihilation?”
“We’ve done much to clean up our lands too,” I said to avoid answering her direct question. “You’re not the only ones who made strides to restore the earth.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah,” I said and squared my shoulders.
“Interesting – because as I see it, while we’ve been restoring extinct animals, you’ve been hunting and killing bears, wolves, and other animals that live here?”
