“Hello, boys,” he greeted us with a deep rusty voice that sounded incredibly hoarse.
“We meet again, Papa Hunt,” Magni said and shook the man’s hand.
“You think you’ll have better luck this time?” the old man, who had to be close to sixty, asked.
“I’ll take my chances,” Magni muttered and introduced me. “This is Boulder, he’s a friend of mine and he’s going with me.”
Papa Hunt gave me a once-over. “I know who you are. You’re that fellow who won the archeologist and let her go again.” He shook his head. “What the hell were you thinking?”
I scowled.
“If she was mine, I’d’ve kept her somewhere safe and knocked her up with a few babes to make her stay. Women are softies for babies,” he said as if he had the fucking manual on how to make women happy.
“We didn’t come for relationship advice,” Magni interjected. “Can you get us over or not?”
Papa Hunt reached his hand out. “What’s in it for me?” he asked.
Magni leaned closer, “How about we don’t tell my brother about your smuggling across the border. Does that sound like a good deal to you?”
Papa Hunt scrunched up his face and looked like he wanted to negotiate, but Magni’s tapping his shoe impatiently made him give a shrug of resignation and move to the door. “I hope you’ve learned from last time and that you’ll fucking take my advice this time.”
“Yeah, yeah, fine, we’ll do it,” Magni said.
“Do what? I asked.
Papa Hunt grinned. “Last time, I told your friend that he had to use a disguise but he refused to shave and cut his hair, and what happened?” He answered his own question. “The moron got spotted, panicked, and stole the first woman he saw.”
“I said, we’ll do it,” Magni said through gritted teeth.
“Good. My contact on the other side of the border will be there tonight and he’ll take you home and change your appearance. He’ll whine about it, of course, but that’s how they are: fucking whiners all of them, and completely under the thumb of women.” Papa Hunt spit on the floor as if the idea left a foul taste in his mouth. “Don’t worry, I’ll pay him handsomely – and he’s a greedy bastard if there ever was one. He’ll help you.”
There was a tunnel under the border that was normally used to smuggle whatever was easy to sell. Papa Hunt was a businessman, and did his best to protect his operation by asking us to be blindfolded when he led us to the location of the tunnel.
Magni and I, both bigger and much stronger than him, quickly convinced him to forget that idea.
“Hop in,” he said and got in a small wagon. “This will take us through the tunnel in only twenty minutes.”
“How long is that tunnel?” I asked, a bit worried. The idea of being underground didn’t sit well with me.
“Don’t worry,” he reassured me, “I built it myself and I never do anything by halves. The tunnel is well supported and safe.”
“How come the Momsies haven’t found it?” I asked.
“Oh, they have.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “The drones can detect caves and tunnels and report it straight to the nearest border patrol. Of course, I didn’t know that when I built it. Long story short, I got caught red-handed about eight years ago on one of my first test runs.”
“So how come you still use it?” I asked.
“Because David, the man who caught me, didn’t report it. In fact, he made sure the system thinks this tunnel was destroyed and he has overruled the program to make it overlook this tunnel.”
We drove slowly in the tunnel, and I figured the low speed was to avoid making any noise or vibrations above. “David is my partner now. Him and two of his friends.”
“But Momsies aren’t interested in money,” I said in surprise.
“True, but it’s human nature to want the forbidden, and we’re their only source to beer and whiskey, which they love as much as the next man. Besides, the men are fascinated by usrealmen and love to hear tales of our lives on the other side of the border.”
“They don’t consider themselves real men?” I asked, skeptical.
He scoffed. “Sure they do. David and his pals think they’re real badass rebels for running a smuggling business right under the nose of the Momsies.” He pointed ahead. “Now duck your heads.”
