They stood like that for at least a full minute until Christina pulled back and dried her eyes. “I’ll tell him tonight then.”
“You do that. I’ll prepare the letters that I need you to deliver for me. And, sweetie…”
“Yes?”
“It’s going to be very lonely here without you.”
The two women stood slightly apart, both with sunken shoulders.
“I’ll stay if you ask me to,” Christina said and I willed Pearl to speak the words, but she didn’t.
“I could never ask that of you.”
“But how long will you stay here?”
“Until I decide otherwise.”
“Laura probably feels guilty,” Christina told Pearl.
“If you meet her, tell her that I don’t blame her and that I’m fine.” Pearl looked down. “As fine as I can be under the circumstances.”
“I will,” Christina assented and left the room.
“Aha – see?” Magni exclaimed triumphantly. “I knew it. Pearl knows where Laura is. She just admitted it.”
“No, she didn’t,” I said. “She saidifyou see her, and that doesn’t mean they know where she is.”
“I agree with Boulder,” Khan said and pointed to the image of Pearl. “Did you hear what she said about staying until she decides otherwise… Ha, the woman is crazy if she thinks she can escape from here. I don’t think she fully understands what being a hostage means.”
While Khan was talking, Magni spun around and raked his hand through his hair, making sounds of frustration.
“Give me ten minutes with the councilwoman and I’ll have her spilling all her secrets,” he almost shouted.
“No!” Khan shook his head. “I won’t allow you to interrogate Pearl or frighten her further.”
“What are we waiting for?” Magni exclaimed. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing. I want Laura back.”
Khan had that expression on his face: the one that signaled that he was about to explode. Being called limited in his thoughts by Pearl and hearing that she found me more attractive than him had to be a blow to his male pride.
Magni and I both knew the expression and normally Magni was smart enough to back down, but this time he didn’t. Instead he kept pressing for time with Pearl until Khan slammed his fist down on his desk.
“When are you fucking gonna accept that Laura is gone? Your wife didn’t want to be with you. She left you. Do you hear me?She left you!”
Magni stumbled backward as if Khan’s words were a physical blow. “But she’s mywife.”
“I know, brother, I know.”
The sorrow in Magni’s eyes tore at my heartstrings. After hearing that Christina was leaving me too, I felt like looking at my future self. A protector without anyone to protect. A husband with physical needs and no one to fill them. I would never be able to be fulfilled by sex-bots after experiencing the real thing, and I didn’t even know what to do with all the emotions I had for Christina. I had no memory of my mom. Like other Nmen, I had been three years old when I came from the Motherlands. The only physical connection I had experienced, until Christina came, was fighting other boys and men.
The despair I felt in my belly, just thinking about going back to my old life without her, made me feel aggressive and irrational. I could relate to Magni’s desperation.
“I’m going to keep her here,” I muttered.
“What?” Khan swung his head from Magni to me. “What did you say?” he sputtered.
“Christina – I can’t let her leave.”
“The fuck you can’t. It’s bad enough that we have a councilwoman as hostage, we’re not taking Christina hostage too.”
