Fuck!
I took a deep breath and cracked my neck side to side. I felt sorry for the bastard who had to face me later because I was feeling a million different ways of unhinged.
I looked back at my sister and told her the truth. “I can’t pay for your college and Mom’s house with what I have saved up now and still be able to afford Kenzlee.”
Edie’s head reared back, and she looked dumbstruck. After a few seconds she asked, “What the hell do you mean, and still be able toaffordKenzlee?”
I dropped on the bed next to my sister and told her everything that’s transpired the past few days. I told her about Kenzlee’s father, Kenzlee’s inheritance, and about breaking up with her yesterday. I also told her about changing my mind in fourth period and skipping seventh, because I had been at my wit’s end by the time fourth period had ended, freeing me from Kenzlee’s presence.
Edie placed her delicate hand on my knee and whispered, “Talon, your letting Dad’s…resentment cloud your image of what Kenzlee really needs.”
I looked over at my sister and hated the hope her words were giving me. “What do you mean?”
“Talon, since Kenzlee’s moved here, have you ever heard her, once, mention how she missed being rich or wished she had money again? Have you ever heard her talk down about us, or…do anything that would suggest money mattered more to her than you did?” I shook my head and hated that she was right. “Dad was a piece of crap, Talon, and even if he had money, he still would have been a piece of crap. His issue was his low self-esteem, not his lack of money. Mom never resented his regular job and her regular lifestyle. All she ever wanted was for her husband to love her more than he loved money, status, and his self-image.”
“I know that, Edie,” I replied, because I did know that.
“Kenzlee’s wasn’t looking for a rich guy when she came here, Talon. She was just looking for somewhere to belong when the place she thought she belonged no longer existed,” she said. “She was looking for somewheresafe, not somewhere fancy.”
My stomached turned with how much I fucked this up. “I’m pretty sure I’ve lost her, Edie.”
Edie gave me a tight nod, and if I wasn’t already sitting down, it would have knocked me on my ass. “You probably have,” she confirmed unsympathetically. “You probably have, and I’m sorry for that, Talon, but more fights are not going to win her back.”
“I can’t back out of this one or the other two I’ve already scheduled, but…I can cut back to my normal amount of fights after that,” I promised.
Edie threw her arms around me and the wetness on my chest was killing me. “I love you, Talon,” she wept. “I love you, and I’ll never, ever be able to repay what you’re risking for me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you have to do this for me.”
I wrapped my arms around my sister and kissed the side of her head. “I love you, Edie. I love you more than my life. I don’t regret not one moment I spent taking care of you, little sister. I don’t regret missing out on video games to read you Snow White. I don’t regret missing out on sports to make sure you could join the ones you wanted. I don’t regret a single fucking thing I’ve ever sacrificed for you Edie, because they weren’t sacrifices. All of it was just the way I loved you. The way I still love you. You and Mom.”
Edie was sniffling in my shirt, but I still heard her, all the same. “Then let Kenzlee decide if giving up her money is a sacrifice or if it’s just the way she loves you, Tal.”
I pulled back from my sister and kissed her on her forehead. “I need to get going, Edie,” I told her. I had a fight to get to, and I still had a lot of confused frustrations to work out. “I love you.”
I stood up and went back to packing my bag as she replied, “I love you, too.” That’s all she said as she stood up and walked out of my bedroom.
The second she shut the door, I sat back down and ran my hands through my hair. I meant everything I said to Edie. I hate my father something fierce, but I never resented having to help my Mom out or help take care of Edie. But what Edie didn’t realize was that she deserved everything we sacrificed for her. She was a good kid who deserved every opportunity that came her way. I just happened to be one of her opportunities.
The women in my life weren’t burdens; they were blessings.
Hopefully, I wasn’t too late to convince Kenzlee that she was the biggest one of them all.
∞∞∞
Kenzlee~
I knew Talon had a fight tonight. I knew it because I couldn’t get away from it all day at school. Everyone knew something was up when we ignored each other during fourth period, but the buzz really started to get going when he didn’t show up for seventh. And, since no one really knew me, no one was brave enough to ask me what was going on.
The pathetic part of it all?
Had someone asked me, I don’t think I would have been able to voice the words out loud. Telling Alexandria was one thing because she wouldn’t judge me if I took Talon back tomorrow. But voicing it out loud to a stranger was different. It made it…real; absolute.
Weak.
That word again.
I was weak where Talon was concerned. He had torn my heart out coldly and brutally, and I was still so in love with him, I didn’t want to say the words that would make our breakup real.
A small part of me still hoped that…that he hadn’t meant what he said. A small part of me hoped that he’d come to his senses to beg for forgiveness.
