“Okay.”
“Promise?”
With a snort of laughter, I reply, “Word of honor.” Her own laughter rings out.
“Take care, honey. Chat soon.”
She hangs up, and I sit there for who knows how long going over everything she said.
Now all I have to do is put it into action.
Picking up my phone, I contemplate the screen. Damn, this stuff’s hard.
11
ELOISE
Standing at the kitchen counter, I stretch and yawn as I wait impatiently for the coffee machine to finish brewing my life-giving elixir. After a shitty night, I’m in desperate need of the pick-me-up my morning java promises me.
Between feeling like I’ve been used – and yes, I’m well aware I was complicit in the one-night stand theory – and the nightmares, I got very little sleep. I’m too scared to look in the mirror and see how bad the damage is. I’m sure I have bags the size of suitcases under my eyes. Thankfully, I have the next two days off, so I can slough around the house and lick my wounds in peace.
The thought has no sooner formed in my brain than my phone chirps an incoming message. Eyeing the offending instrument from across the room, I decide to ignore it in favor of my coffee, which is currently finishing its run through the machine. I rub my hands together in anticipation of that first euphoric hit.
My phone chirps again.
Baring my teeth at it, I get the creamer out of the fridge and finish doctoring my drink. Reverently, I lift the cup to my lips. Inhaling the heady aroma, I take my first sip of the day and groan out loud. Until my night with Bear, I would honestly have said coffee is better than sex. Now I know the error in my judgment. Damn, that man has moves.
Mug in hand, I make my way through the living room and over to the balcony doors. I intend to enjoy this first coffee of the day on my balcony without the irritation of my phone to ruin my Zen moment.
From this high up, the sounds of traffic are muted, and the elevation is just enough to give me a glimpse of the ocean. On my salary, it’s the best I can do, and I’m happy with that. For now.
Until the shooting, I thought I’d retire from this job. Now, despite all the therapy I’ve had, and am still undergoing periodically, fear stalks me each time we’re called out. After a particularly stressful day, the nightmares terrorize my sleep. I can’t seem to stop it and don’t want to live this way for the rest of my life.
I just haven’t figured out what else I want to do. It’s the only career I’ve ever known. The only one I ever wanted for as long as I can remember. It breaks my heart that I’m frightened of what was once my dream job. My thoughts now having turned so heavy, I blow out a long breath and drain the last of my coffee.
Time to get my day started, I guess. Cup in hand, I head for the kitchen to pop it into the dishwasher. I’m about to make my way to the shower when my damn phone signals yet another message coming in. Who the hell is so desperate to get hold of me?
Picking it up, I see a number of message notifications – Hunter, several from my mom and one from Bear. Intrigued, I ignore the ones from Hunter and Mom, opening his one first. To say I’m stunned is an understatement.
[Bear]:Good morning. I hope you slept well. I’d really like to make it up to you for being such an asshole. Would you have lunch with me, today if you’re available?
I’m guessing patience isn’t his strong point, since that doesn’t leave much time if I agree to go. He said he wanted to make it right for being a jerk, but I thought he was just saying it because I was there, and he felt embarrassed. Apparently, I was wrong.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt that he spent the night – a really awesome night – and then disappeared. It’s not like I was expecting romance and promises, but a call or text now and then would have been nice. We could have been friends. Guess he felt differently.
Quickly scanning the other messages, I dash off a reply to Hunter and then decide to call my mom instead of texting back.
“Hello?” I love how she always sounds like she has no idea who’s calling, despite caller ID.
“Hi Mama. I thought I’d give you a quick call. How are you?”
“Lola-bug. Good morning, sweetheart. You up for some lunch today with your old mama?”
“Hey now. Nothing old about you, Mama. All my colleagues think you’re my sister.” Before I consciously realize I’ve made a decision, the words pop out of my mouth. “I can’t do today. I already have plans. But I can do another day when you’re free.”
“A hot date, I hope?” I should have known my mom would go right to the heart of the matter.
“Sorry to disappoint – no hot date, just a meal with a friend.”
