'You’re forty-one! Hardly! Everything you've been through has brought you to this point, to this version of yourself that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it.'
'Is that what I'm doing? Going after what I want?'
'Aren't you? From what you’ve told me, you’ve completely changed your life, initiated a successful online presence, started to renovate your house on your own, and somehow we’ve connected. You’re still parenting and paying for young adults and you work part-time. Plus, you have a dog and you read a lot. That all sounds fairly impressive to me.' Archie raised his eyebrows.
'Wow, yeah, I suppose. I’m just thinking about how different everything is now. Six months ago, I would never have imagined I'd be here, doing this, with you.'
'What would you have been doing six months ago on a day like this?'
Darby rolled her eyes. 'Probably cleaning the house or feeling guilty about not cleaning the house.’ There was no way that Darby was going to add that she would have been watching other people's lives on YouTube and wondering how she was going to pull herself up from the lowest of lows. Best she kept that morsel to herself for, like, ever.
'There you are then.'
‘I can’t stop thinking that it’s so nice to be here.’
‘Agree.’
For a minute, they didn’t say much. Darby caught sight of their reflection in a glass case and smiled at the couple looking back at her. Unreal in a way. For so long, she'd thought her story was essentially over. That the interesting chapters had been written for her already. She’d got herself caught up in horrible, ever-decreasing circles of pessimism and scepticism. As she sat with the tea, the building and the tiramisu, Darby realised just how downright wrong she had been. Her story wasn't ending; ina way, it felt the complete and utter opposite, as if it was just beginning. A new chapter was perhaps emerging from the sloth of the previous few years. It wasn’t all roses and unicorns, flower sprinkles and rainbows, but it was better than sitting on an old sofa watching other people doing their thing. Much better than that; it was all so very much hers.
45
Curled up right in the corner of the sofa, Darby had a cup of tea on the go, a cushion over her feet and she was very cosily wrapped in a stolen man’s dressing gown. Softened with age and oh-so comfy, said dressing gown was infused with Archie. It was so him that it almost felt as if he were sitting next to her. Darby may have constantly pulled the collar up over her mouth and nose and inhaled. Cupping her mug in her hand, she sipped and stared out the window.
The willow tree in the garden made lovely little patterns on a blanket of white, cloudy sky as Darby resisted doom-scrolling crap on her phone and instead let her mind wander. Tracing her eyes around the same peach pattern wallpaper beside the window, she’d stared at so many times in the past, something had changed. Many things, in fact. Mostly her state of mind. There were other things that had come with her improved mental health: her energy levels, her happiness and more importantly, just her day-to-day run-of-the-mill feelings. All of which were on the up.
Staring at the peach flowers on the wall, she mused how they would soon be toast. She would miss them in a way. Not that much, though. They’d been like a noose around her neck for thefive years she’d lived in the house. Not long and they would be nothing but a memory on the inside of her eyelids.
Checking the time, she went out and made another cup of tea and got her phone ready for a video call with her daughter, Elly. Elly was away studying and communicated mostly with Darby by way of voice message, which Darby was still getting her head around, but there you go.
‘Hey mum. How are you?’
‘Good, darling, thank you. Very good, actually. How are you getting on? You look tired.’
‘Iamtired. I have three essays due next week, and I’ve barely started any of them. But you know how it is.’ Elly rubbed her eyes and yawned. ‘What are you up to? You look very cosy there. Is that a borrowed dressing gown you’re wearing? Archie’s?’
Darby looked down at the black fabric wrapped around her. ‘How do you know it’s his?’
‘Because it’s about three sizes too big for you and I’ve never seen you in anything other than flannelette and floral.’
‘Ha.’
‘Aww, so sweet. It’s lovely that you’re happy. I was worried about you for a while there. You seemed a bit lost.’
Darby adjusted the dressing gown and smiled. ‘I’m fine.’
‘So what are you up to?’
‘Getting ready to remove wallpaper, would you believe?’
‘Hah! Finally! You’ve only been threatening to do that for about five years. What’s brought this on then?’
‘I decided I couldn’t look at those peach flowers any longer. They’ve been staring at me accusingly for far too long. You know how long I’ve wanted to get going on this room.’
‘About time. I never understood why you kept them. They’re absolutely hideous.’
Darby laughed and joked. ‘Thanks. Your support means everything to me.’
‘Sorry, but they are! Remember when I brought James home for the first time and he asked if the wallpaper was some sort of vintage statement piece? That was funny.’
