She frowned at the thought.Stay in my lane?Since when have I had the opportunity for anything else?She thought about all the challenges she'd faced and overcome, all the thingsshe’d had to juggle like the mum she’d just watched walk past. Maybe it was time to change lanes altogether.
She watched as a pair of ducks glided past, their little feet going ninety to the dozen under the water. A bit like her, really. She’d always felt as if she was swimming against the tide, struggling to keep her head above water at the same time as holding up that big old sky. Birdie’s job would undoubtedly change that.
Picking up her notebook again, she ran her finger down the list of pros. They really were too good to turn down: financial stability, career growth, meeting new people, furthering her knowledge and experience, driving a little van - it was all there, laid out in black and white. No more juggling multiple jobs, no more worrying.
Her gaze drifted back to the river, and she watched as a few leaves floated by on the surface. A fish jumped creating ripples and as she watched the circles, her mind reiterated how long she'd been stuck in one place, doing the same jobs, living the same life. Logging onto the same chatbot portal for years. She sighed at the thought that eventhathad changed, updated and embraced new technology in the time she’d been working on it. She, however, had pretty much stayed the same. Always there, logging on in the early hours doing her same old thing.
A group of teenagers walked by with school bags over their shoulders, laughing and giggling. Cally thought about her youth and how it had been tied up with looking after her mum and her brother. No dreams for our Cally, nothing too ambitious or unrealistic. All the times she'd had no choice but to hold herself back, all the opportunities she'd let slip by because she’d been unable to dedicate the time because her responsibilities at home had always come first.
She picked up her pen again and tapped it against her notebook as she considered the cons she'd written down. Mostof them, she realised, were, in actual fact, excuses stemming from her insecurities rather than real obstacles. The concern about putting all her eggs in one basket and things going wrong with Birdie really were just manifestations of self-doubt. She wondered about being risk-averse and if it was fundamentally about the job or about being afraid to succeed. The answer hit her like a tonne of bricks. She'd spent so long just trying to survive, to keep her head above water, that the idea of actually thriving was almost foreign to her. But wasn't that what she'd come to Lovely Bay for in the first place? A chance at a better life?
She looked at the word 'security' and thought about how the full-time job with benefits would give her that. How long had she lived without that feeling? Always worrying about the next bill, the next unexpected expense, and never able to plan for the future because she was too busy struggling to get by day to day. The job would lift a weight from her shoulders. No more survival.
Flipping back through the pages of her notebook, she came across an old to-do list scribbled on one of the pages. “Research local courses,” it said, followed by “Look for new job opportunities.” Both items were checked with little blue ticks. Yes, she’d researched courses and looked at jobs more than a few times. That was more or less as far as it had gone, though. She thought about all the courses she'd researched, all the job listings she'd pored over. How many times she’d been on the brink of this, that, or the other only to not take the leap and talk herself out of things at the last moment. Way too many times.
She nodded to herself. The job offer from Birdie was the universe giving her a big old poke in the side. A jab in the ribs. Practically shoving an opportunity in her face and daring her to take it. Telling her to pull on her big girl's pants and get the heck on with it.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The Lovely smell and scent of the river filled her nostrils; earthy, fresh and familiar all at the same time. A few minutes later, she nodded. No more overthinking. Time to grab the opportunity with both hands and hang on for the ride. Our Cally was going to take the plunge. See what it was like on the other side.
22
It had taken Cally quite a bit of time to make up her mind, but she had finally decided toofficiallytake the job; it was just too good not to. After again spending way too much time weighing up the pros and cons, she’d decided that she would be crazy not to take it. Logan had told her that he didn’t really think she could go wrong and that the job would open up lots of doors. So she’d decided to go for her life.
With a spring in her step that she’d finally made a decision, she walked down the steep steps from her flat, strolled over the first floor of the deli building and down the next flight of stairs and just as she was heading for the back door, she bumped straight into Alice coming the other way.
‘Morning, our Cally, how are you?’ Alice asked.
‘Good, thanks. Everything is fine with me,’ Cally replied. ‘How are you?’
‘Yep, great. I’m looking forward to a week off.’
‘I bet.’
‘How was your time up in Scotland? How did the weather treat you?’
‘It was just right. I had a really nice time. Much better than I thought it was going to be. You live and learn.’
‘I’ve heard it’s nice. It’s been on my bucket list for a long time.’
‘Right. It wasn’t on mine, but I will definitely go back. It would be nice to see it at Christmas time.’
‘I reckon.’
Cally looked in the direction of the door, ‘Anyway, I must get going.’
‘Have a nice day.’
‘You, too. See you.’
A few minutes later, Cally smiled at the sound of the Shipping Forecast as she walked into the back of the chemist. She always knew when Birdie was around by whether or not its dulcet tones could be heard from the street.
On hearing Cally come in, Birdie put her head around the dispensary door. ‘Morning, our Cally. How are we? Keeping out of trouble, I hope.’
‘Good, thanks, very good.’
‘Ready for our important strategy meeting,’ Birdie joked with a wink.
‘Yes, I am,’
