“You started this.” His statement encompassed so much more than the moment at hand. It covered all the way back to his teen years when his mother had made it entirely clear: if he wanted her in his life, then he couldn’t have boyfriends, couldn’t let anyone know the truth of him. In exchange for her love, he had to hide his feelings, his yearnings, and his needs.
Aaron was a grown man now, yes, but his mother had set him up. First as a mother, and then as his superior, and now he was stuck in a place where the very concept of getting his needs met made him feel selfish, and slutty, and bad. Even when following her rules, he was met with suspicion and disdain from the woman who should have loved him unconditionally, supported him whole-heartedly, and…
He straightened his shoulders. “You’re right.”
“Of course I am.”
“I should go home. I’m not wanted here.”
“Aaron—”
“Monday is our last day of classes before the break. I’ll let you know by the end of winter break whether or not I plan to tender my resignation by year’s end, Principal Shock. Because God knows I can’t keep living like this. Something has got to give.”
She gasped, her eyes growing round. Then she folded her arms over her relatively flat chest, sharp elbows sticking out at angles, and she hissed, “We will discuss this later.”
Aaron shrugged. “Maybe. I’ve got a lot going on this weekend.”
His mother flinched.
Aaron bit back the urge to taunt,“Yes, Mother, I’ll be too busy with illicit and dangerous hookups and fucking a former student to discuss this bullshit any further with you.”
Before he let the bile slip out, he whirled away from her scornful gaze. Without looking back, he stalked from the gym out to his car, slipped inside, and locked the door. Sweat damped his armpits and palms. He wiped his hands on his suit’s pants legs, and then adjusted his rearview mirror to a view of the gym. The blue and white lights from the winter decorations glowed in the high windows, and he waited to see if anyone would follow him to his car.
Lauren wasn’t chaperoning. No other teacher would want to intercede on his behalf in a fight with his mother.
If Doug Ward followed him out, his mother would feel proven right.
Aaron licked his lips nervously. He didn’t know what had possessed him in there. Henevertalked to his motherorthe principal like that. Not even as a teenager. Her love had always felt far too easy to lose.
When no one came, Aaron started his car with shaking hands and drove off school property. Heart racing, he pulled into the shadowy parking lot of a nearby church, choosing a spot well away from the building and out of sight from the main road. The church was dark, but the Christmas décor—big, fat green wreaths with gold and white bows—were still visible in the shadows. Aaron stared up at the cross stabbing into the night sky from atop the church’s spire. There was a lot to unpack in that symbol and he didn’t have the time or energy for it tonight.
He glanced toward the clock on his car dashboard. As bad an idea as it had been to invite RJ over at all, Aaron was grateful for the distraction now. Without RJ and the night of sex ahead, there was no doubt he’d have gone straight to the grocery store, picked up ice cream, chips, and Double Stuf Oreos before holing up in his apartment to gorge on junk while reliving every single moment of his conversation with his mother again and again.
She wouldn’t call him. Not tonight. And maybe not tomorrow. Heck, it was possible she wouldn’t call at all. She liked to let him stew and let him be the one to beg for forgiveness whenever they’d butted heads in the past. Not that they’d ever had words like they’d had tonight. Not even after the divorce. Not even when she accused him of loving his dad best. Aaron had always tried to placate and soothe her. What had come over him at the dance?
Thank God RJ would be over tonight. He’d be the best distraction. Aaron doubted he’d be able to give his mother’s bullshit a second thought once RJ put his big hands on his body. Pulling himself together, Aaron left the church parking lot and directed the car toward his apartment.
Ruthlessly, he pushed pause on the automatic replays of his argument with his mom to make a mental list of all the things he needed to do to prepare. He wanted to shower and douche. Aaron wasn’t a believer in douching beforeeveryanal encounter, since he ate a good diet of fiber-rich foods and everything down there was usually in good shape for spontaneous fun. But tonight, he wanted to be extra cleaned out, because he wanted to go long and hard.
Then he’d change his sheets and put some easy-to-wash blankets on the sofa in case they got into any play out there. He planned to quickly vacuum, as well as make sure everything in the bedroom looked tidy and neat. And he wanted to make sure Constance’s litter was scrupulously clean after the disaster of last time.
He needed plenty of time to don the elf costume. He wasn’t sure if he was in the mood now for such a playful game, but he didn’t like the idea of his mother winning either. If he let her strip away all the joy and fun from his “illicit and dangerous” fling with RJ, then what was even the point of having it? Still, he wanted enough time to put the costume on and get back out of it again if he decided it wasn’t the direction he wanted to go after all.
He’d opened a giant can of worms with his mom, but he wasn’t going to let that destroy his chance to get thoroughly and completely banged by a super-hot former student. The one with a killer smile, big hands, and a sweet disposition. As he made his way home, he concentrated on his memories of RJ’s body—his weight on top of Aaron, the width of his ridiculous cock, and the way he’d taken Aaron apart with pleasure the last time they’d hooked up. The images almost banished the gut-churning nausea left over from his encounter with his mom. They definitely left him straining with anticipation for the worry-obliterating events awaiting him.
Even if he couldn’t expect love from RJ—or anyone, really—he already knew he’d get pleasure and respect from the man. That was more than he could say about most people in his life right now. The winter break would give him the space he needed to figure out if he’d meant what he said about resigning. And who knew what his mother would be like come Christmas Day if they hadn’t made up by then?
At least tonight, he’d be fucked until he was nothing more than a quivering, warm pile of relaxed muscles. Blissed out on his self-procured Christmas gifts: RJ Blitz and his wondrous cock. And it would be worth it.
Of that Aaron had no doubt.
Chapter Fourteen
“Oh damn, baby.How did you know?”
Aaron held open the door to his apartment a little longer than usual, staring at RJ in shock. His nipples rose in the cold air, barely hidden beneath the elf costume’s vest. He’d decided against wearing the entire thing and settled for just a few of the pieces.
“How didyouknow?” he whispered, confused laughter bursting from his chest. He tugged RJ inside, blocking Constance’s dash for freedom with his stockinged foot, and quickly shut the door.
