Page 100 of Mr. Naughty List


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The kids played and danced. Adults drank and laughed. And before long, it was time to exchange gifts.

RJ had brought in a sack of small dollar items he’d picked out with Perri and Beau as gifts for Aaron’s little cousins. He passed out the carefully gift-wrapped trinkets to each of them and seemed gratified by the squeals of delight. “Amazing how happy a plastic kazoo can make a kid,” he said, laughing.

“And how furious it can make their mother,” Aaron replied, nodding to where Rory Lynn and LeeLee looked like they might destroy the small plastic toys before the night was through.

“Oops. Did I make enemies?”

“Nah. It’s not that bad. One year, my dad gave my cousin Dem Buns a chainsaw. He was fourteen.”

“Dem Buns?”

“Long story. Involves bread buns. I swear.”

“Right. These nicknames, man. They’re killing me.”

Aaron laughed. “I know, I know. The kazoos will no doubt meet a grisly end, but we’ll be long gone by then.”

“This is for you,” Aaron’s dad said, pressing a package into RJ’s hands. “And this one is for you, son.” He pushed a soft, wrapped square into Aaron’s. Probably a sweater.

“I…” RJ stared at the gift. “I don’t have anything for you, sir. Just the casserole.”

“And it was a damn good casserole,” Dad said. “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing.” He waved his hand toward the present. “Open it.”

RJ tore into it. No saving the paper for him. Aaron’s mother would have winced at the waste, but Aaron liked the enthusiasm. Beneath the paper was a picture in a frame, and when Aaron leaned closer, he felt a rush of heat go up his chest, neck, and into his cheeks. “Dad!”

“I’ve got more copies. He can have that one.”

“Dad!” Aaron repeated. He’d brought RJ to family Christmas, yes, and he was pretty sure he was in love, but they weren’t to this stage yet. No one got tothisstage until they were engaged.

RJ laughed and laughed, tears starting from the corners of his eyes, and he wiped at them with his knuckles. The cousins were curious about what had Aaron’s guy losing it like that, so they crowded around. Hoots were followed by exclamations that his dad had gone too far.

“Uncle Rutty, that’s not nice,” LeeLee scolded.

“I think it’s great,” RJ said hoarsely, still laughing.

Aaron groaned and tried to scoot away on the sofa, but RJ wrapped an arm around his shoulders and dragged him back in against his side. The framed picture remained balanced on his knees, there in all its embarrassing glory.

“Uncle Rutty, he’s naked in it!” Rory Lynn reprimanded, though she was laughing too.

“Naked on Santa’s lap,” Woody crowed. “And crying. What the hell, Uncle Rutty, that’s messed up.”

Aaron wiped his hand over his face, hoping the photo would disappear, but of course it didn’t.

“It’s a great picture!” Dad said. “That was his first picture with Santa. And he was so mad about having to wait in line for it that he took all his clothes off in protest. Helen wasfurious, so she left me there with him. She said, ‘He’s yours. You deal with him.’” Rutty laughed too. “So I just led him on up to Santa, buck-naked, and the guy picked him up. Aaron screamed and screamed, and just when—”

“Dad!” Aaron said desperately.

“Just when Santa put him down, he walked over and peed in the potted plant. He was something else.”

“Holy shit,” RJ said, laughing so hard that he could barely breathe. “Oh my God. Oh, baby, look at you.”

Aaron couldn’t help but laugh too. “I had to go. I was trying to tell them.”

“He couldn’t talk much yet,” Dad said. “Helen was so impatient with him. She tried to teach him sign language, but he refused to learn.”

“But when he did finally talk, didn’t he do it in full sentences?” Woody asked. “I remember he went from being a grunting, pointing baby to speaking in big long sentences.”

“That’s right,” Dad said. “I think he was waiting until he could do it ‘right.’ You know how Aaron likes things to be right.”