Jason groaned.
“But if Dr. Chase gave Vale the go-ahead, then his chances must be as good as any.”
“Urho never said that.”
“Of course not. He’s a doctor. He can’t have you coming back around later if…if the worst happens.”
Jason buried his face in his hand. His heart pounded. “I love him more than life. Need him more than water. More than air.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
“I’d be happily childless so long as I could have him with me for the rest of my days.”
“He’s older than you son.”
Jason shook his head, already knowing where that was going. “I don’t want to hear about that.”
“You can’t deny it forever.”
Jason shrugged.Just watch me.
Father went on, “If this works out, not only will Vale have the joy of giving you a son, but when itishis time, he’ll know he’s left a piece of himself behind for you to live for.”
“No.”
“Hear me out—”
“No!”
Jason scrambled to his hands and knees and crawled back into his old room. It still held the bed and the desk where he’d done his schoolwork, but otherwise, the room was stripped bare of his old things. He’d taken it all to Vale’s when they contracted.
“Do you remember when I bought you the microscope?” Yule asked, grunting as he followed Jason through the window and into the room. He steadied himself and regained his balance before taking Jason’s arm and steering him to the bed.
Jason sat down reluctantly. “Yes.”
“I told you that our world was to the universe like the cell to the world. I told you that our lives were like that, too. A drop in the continuum of life.”
Jason shook his head. He had no idea where his father was going with this, but he didn’t want to hear it. Why didn’t anyone understand what he was feeling? Why did everyone want him to accept this choice?
“In the end, none of us matter.”
“Vale matters.”
“To you.”
Jason glared at his father. “To the world. He’s a poet. A teacher. A friend. MyÉrosgápe.”
“Yes. At this moment in time, Vale matters to many people, but in fifteen years? Twenty?”
Jason worked his mouth open and scraped out, “What are you trying to say to me? That it doesn’t matter if he lives or dies? This is morbid. I don’t like it.”
“I’m saying it’s going to be all right.”
Jason choked out a laugh. “Everything you just said was the least ‘all right’ thing I’ve ever heard.”
Father smiled and stroked his hand through Jason’s hair. “Because you’re young yet. Wait until you’re old. Then you’ll see what I mean. Vale probably knows.”
“Vale isn’t old.”
