“Why not?”
“I wasn’t so fucking angry.”
“Ah.” The kid tilted his head. “You’re sure angry now. Do you want to tell me why?”
“No.” Dr. Green grimaced. “Yes. This coffee. That’s why I’m mad.”
“Right. Okay.” Dr. Green’s friend shoved the black hair behind his ears and studied him. “I’m here if you want to talk.”
Neil shrugged. “It won’t fix anything.”
“I know but…I do care. For some reason. I don’t even know why. Because you’re a dick.”
Neil smiled a little, and then said, “Tell me more about the neoshamanism crap.”
“Why should I?”
“Because it’s important to you, and I should stop being an asshole and listen.”
“Aw, it’s almost like you’re learning to be human!” The friend reached out and mussed Dr. Green’s hair.
“Believe me, I’ve got plenty of practice in that.”
And the video ended.
Joshua bit his lip, any thought that he’d only imagined the resemblance to Neil had been dispelled. Dr. Green looked more like Neil than ever, complete with eye rolls and hand flourishes that made Joshua’s stomach knot.
The second video was uncomfortable to watch. It was of Neil and a dark-haired woman, someone who looked a bit older than Joshua himself. But given the expense of the nanite creams, it was possible she was younger than Joshua and had never been able to afford the benefit of them. She and Neil sat on the bumper of her car, a newer model with autodrive from what Joshua could tell, so she couldn’t have been interriblefinancial shape.
“You have to let it go, Neil,” the woman said, her eyes dark with sadness. Joshua wondered how Adair managed to get such good film without being spotted. He supposed that’s why she got paid the big bucks. “It’s time to move on. Find someone new. Like I did after Marshall died.”
“Because that worked out so well foryou,” Dr. Green said.
The woman sighed. “Yes, Jim was a mistake. I was young and pregnant. I acted in desperation. But you’re nothing like me. You’ll make the right choice.”
“Exactly, Mom.” Dr. Green sighed. “I’m not like you.”
He stood up and walked away from her, heading toward a building that looked like some old-fashioned university student apartments. They reminded Joshua of the old dorms that MTSU had torn down a few years ago to replace with more up-to-date accommodations.
Dr. Green’s mother didn’t follow him, only buried her face in her hands. Joshua didn’t know if she was crying or was just in despair.
The third video was the shortest of all. Dr. Green walked toward a campus building, a frown etched onto his face, and before opening the door, he rubbed his fingers over his eyes in a move so incredibly Neil-like that Joshua couldn’t breathe. Dr. Green swallowed hard, shook himself, and said softly, “Damn it, Joshua. I’m losing my mind here.” And then he opened the door to the building and went in.
Joshua watched the final clip three times. He licked his lips and said under his breath, “Me, too, Neil. Me, too.”
Chapter Fifteen
Joshua sat onthe bench outside of Barren River Resort staring at his phone.
According to the report Adair had sent, Neil Green had been born a few months after Neil Russell’s death, on January 17, to one Alice Green Martin, girlfriend of the deceased Marshall Green, and wife to Jim Martin—though she later divorced the man when Neil was eight, almost nine. The report indicated that Dr. Green had been an odd child—neighbors and teachers were on record saying that he was ‘eccentric,’ ‘tiresome,’ and—the description Joshua found most unnerving for some reason—‘like an angry, middle-aged man in a child’s body.’
Dr. Green had graduated at the top of his college class at the young age of fifteen and immediately started a fast track through medical and engineering school at Emory, achieving his MD and PhD in record time. And while there were opportunities for which he was suited outside of academia, he was quoted in the school digi-paper as saying, “I’m difficult and strange. The people here are used to me. I can get what I want from my career by staying. Why leave?”
In the same article, the college reporter asked him about having time for a personal life, and Dr. Green had said, “Yeah, I don’t do personal lives. I tried it a long time ago. It ended in a wreck.” The reporter had managed to rather respectfully scoff at the idea that the boy-genius had ever had any romantic prospects, and he’d asked Dr. Green, “A long time ago? When you were, what, twelve?” Dr. Green had declined to dignify that with a response. Joshua, however, didn’t find it scoff-worthy at all. He’d found it chilling.
Adair’s report also revealed that there was a rumor—not a big one, because Dr. Green was not someone targeted by a lot of gossip—that Dr. Green had a standing order in at all the local paper-book collectors for journals, articles, and books discussing reincarnation. That, too, had left Joshua sitting at his desk, staring into space, feeling as though his heart had been cut from his chest.
Could Neil have been reborn? Did Joshua even believe that was a possibility? And if it was possible—did Neil remember who he’d been, what he’d been to Joshua, and was that even something that could happen? Joshua didn’t know anyone he could ask without sounding completely insane. His mother would be no help; she’d pat him, and call him ‘baby,’ and worry. Chris’s eyes would get all concerned, and he’d suggest Joshua take more time away from work, and probably tell him it was just grief for Lee talking. Sam didn’t need the burden of wondering if his big brother had lost his mind, either. Paul would suggest a therapist, and whether or not heshouldengage one, Joshua didn’t intend to do so. Which left Joshua to his own counsel, alone on a bench near the place he’d last seen Neil Green.
