Xan moaned, his asshole still aching and his balls throbbing. Monhundy pushed thick, rough fingers into him and jabbed at his sensitive prostate. Xan squirmed and whimpered, licking up the last of the come.
“I bet you’d take another of my loads and love it,” Monhundy said, disgust lacing his voice. “I bet you’d let any alpha have you. More than one, even. The most depraved of the depraved.”
Xan didn’t point out that Monhundy was the one who’d originally started this sexual game between them. Throughout school, he’d bullied Xan relentlessly. Even then Xan had recognized the sizzle of violent attraction on Monhundy’s part, the burn of alpha expression. And then, after Xan had left school and Monhundy had graduated, the dark fascination between them had only escalated.
Every time they ran into each other—at parties, at bars, at clubs—fists came out on both sides, and threats too. Until one day, Monhundy, drunk and enraged from a late-night confrontation between them in a pub on the wrong side of town, had waited for Xan to leave alone. When Xan finally departed, Monhundy had used his great height and enormous strength to drag Xan into a dark, stinking alley behind the pub.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” he’d gritted out.
“Yes,” Xan had said.
Then Monhundy had punched him repeatedly until he couldn’t see straight.
“Do you still want me to fuck you?” he’d growled in Xan’s ear.
Tears running down his face, Xan had nodded. “Yes.”
Without another word, Monhundy had ripped down his pants and dry fucked him up against the alley’s brick wall.
Xan still clearly remembered the rough slide of the bricks against his cheek and the shockingly painful penetration of Monhundy’s alpha-sized cock. He’d screamed his head off but Monhundy had silenced him by cutting off his breath that night too. Xan had struggled, but Monhundy was twice his size and strong as a horse. Eventually, Xan had surrendered, certain he’d be fucked to death there in that filthy alley.
Shockingly, he’d come that horrible night, too, painting those alleyway bricks with his semen. It’d been too dark for Monhundy to see the evidence of Xan’s demented brokenness. But Xan had stared at the streaks of white from his crumpled position on the pavement, where Monhundy had dropped him and left him for dead.
In that moment, he’d known the depths of his own depravity. He’d lived, yes, but he’d been ruined in more ways than anyone knew. He’d never forget what it felt like to lay there in that alley—pants down around his ankles and his body dripping with Monhundy’s come and his own blood. The shame stayed forever on his heart.
That had been Xan’s first taste of the darkness. And after he’d discovered it—the pain, the pleasure, the horror—he couldn’t stay away. Seeking Monhundy out became his addiction. He made a game of getting Monhundy alone and taunting him until he cracked and brutally fucked Xan again and again. He pushed his former bully—now his abuser—harder each time until the incidents between them became so violent and dangerous that Caleb feared for Xan’s life, and, wolf-god, Xan couldn’t blame him.
Now he’d taken things farther than he ever had. He’d dared to drop by Monhundy’s own house to beg for it. If Kerry, Monhundy’s omega, had been home, nothing would have come of it. Xan would have found another excuse to explain why he’d come by, some sort of business discussion that Monhundy would have seen through, but his omega would have bought. But Kerry was away, visiting his ailing pater, and so Xan had dropped to his knees as soon as the beta servant who’d escorted him into the receiving room was dismissed.
And Monhundy hadn’t failed to give Xan a fix of his favorite drug.
Monhundy raked a hand through his dark hair and stared down at Xan, eyes glittering with loathing. Xan swallowed down the last of the come he’d licked up and opened his mouth, offering his throat for use by Monhundy’s refreshed and ragingly hard dick.
He half expected Monhundy to plunge into him and choke him to death, proving his dominance through the ultimate in alpha expression. Xan closed his eyes and shuddered, submitting to the inevitable, both terrified and titillated by the thought.
Just like that, all of his pain and guilt could all be over. All of it.
“Go home,” Monhundy said, standing up and kicking him in the ass with the toe of his boot. He closed his pants and tucked in his shirt. He sneered down at Xan with his perfectly cut jawline and fashionable fop of dark hair. He tossed his strong shoulders back proudly. “You disgust me.”
Xan stood slowly, his knees protesting and his stomach lurching again. He got dressed as quickly as possible. He buttoned up his shirt, knotted his bow tie messily, and hitched his pants up over his bruised hips. He’d just managed to get them closed before Monhundy gripped him by the back of the neck and steered him toward the front door, where he tossed him and his shoes onto the front sidewalk. Xan, still weak and beyond shaken, sprawled onto his ass, the concrete cutting into his palms.
“Don’t come back,” Monhundy commanded, spitting on Xan once more for good measure. “I’ll call you if I ever want to use your filthy ass again. But don’t hold your breath.” He tossed Xan’s coat out and then slammed the door and locked it.
Xan shuddered where he sprawled on the cold concrete. The sky above twinkled with stars and the moon rode the clouds—white and pure—the all-seeing eye of wolf. His scraped palms burned, and his knee was twisted up beneath him. Tears slipped down his face helplessly.
Slowly, he rose, whimpering as he tugged on his coat and shoes before stepping onto the main sidewalk that ran by houses glowing with warm lights that weren’t meant for him. He felt like an outcast, cold and alone.
His body was a bruise and his injured balls screamed with each step he took. His asshole burned hotly and he wondered if the wetness below was blood seeping through his pants or, if possibly, he’d pissed himself while being strangled. He’d done that once before—when they’d fucked in Monhundy’s office one night.
Monhundy had choked him out and then hadn’t been pleased at Xan’s urine wetting his office sofa. Xan had thought he might truly meet his end that night too. His left eyebrow still held the scar from the damage Monhundy’s fist had done afterward. He ran his tongue over another scar on the inside of his lower lip.
As he limped away from the Monhundy mansion, he tightened his coat around himself protectively. Trying to keep steady on his feet, he soldiered on despite the pain. He’d parked around the corner and down two blocks to avoid having his too-obvious green car sighted by anyone who knew of his and Monhundy’s enmity, and thus might ask questions.
Those two blocks seemed an impossible distance to travel now, beaten and bruised as he was. He carefully put one foot in front of another, grateful for the empty sidewalk and quiet streets. At least there were no witnesses to his walk of shame. He hoped he wouldn’t pass out, though, as colored dots swam in his eyes and his breath came in short, sharp pants.
A long, golden-toned car passed him and then slowed, stopping not far away. Xan pulled his collar up, hiding his face, and quickened his steps, praying the person would just move on and leave him alone.
“Xan?”
