“Funny, the last time you saw him, you hoped he’d be hit by a train.”
“Yes,” Xan whispered, swallowing thickly. “But I didn’t want him todie.”
“I know,” Urho said gently. “This thing with him and Caleb…”
“I don’t know,” Xan murmured. “We’ll have to wait and see.”
“Caleb loves you.”
“Yes.” Xan sighed and tucked in against Urho. “But we both know that love comes in different forms—philia, agape, eros. I don’t know what form his love for Janus takes.”
“Not eros.”
“No.” Xan sighed. “But there are levels to all those kinds of love. Take philia—brotherly love. I don’t love my neighbor as I love my best friend. It might be that he loves Janus more deeply than he loves me.”
Urho snuggled him close. “He lovesyou,” Urho repeated again. “No matter how he’s feeling now, Janus could be no competition for you.”
Xan thought Urho’s affection for him made him biased. But he didn’t protest. He simply closed his eyes and let exhaustion wash them both out into an anxious, tossing sea of sleep.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“What do weknow about the local hospital?” Vale asked the next morning over breakfast, cradling his stomach nervously. To Jason’s pride and Urho’s satisfaction, it had grown greatly over the last week or two. He was now obviously quite pregnant at even a glance.
“For you or for him?” Urho asked, rubbing his bleary eyes.
It’d been a long night. After Xan had fallen asleep, Urho had gotten out of bed, dressed, and left the main house to pace the hallway of the detached wing. He’d listened for Janus’s cough, monitoring it lest it grew much worse, and tried very hard not to overhear the quiet words Caleb shared with him.
But he hadn’t been able to miss everything.
Like one exchange that had troubled him all morning:
“Promise that you’ll forgive me,” Janus begged during a brief period of consciousness. “Promise, Caleb.”
“I do forgive you, Janus. I promise. Now be quiet and rest.”
“I love you. It’s always been you.”
Caleb released a choked sound.
“All the rest were…” Janus coughed violently.
“Shh. Rest. Sleep. Heal.”
“They weren’t you. None of them were you, Caleb.”
“Janus…”
“Tell me you love me too.”
“I did care about you once—”
Janus cried, “Can’t you even lie to a man on his death bed?”
“You’re not dying,” Caleb whispered furiously. “Now shut your mouth and sleep.”
Medicine had been delivered to the house from the pharmacy first thing in the morning, and Janus was resting more easily now. Well enough that Urho didn’t mind leaving him to shower again, wipe down with the antiseptic lotion, and then eat breakfast with his very worried alpha-shaped omega and their nervous friends.
Caleb had refused to leave Janus. He’d declared that Ren would bring a plate for him when he brought the ginger broth Urho had prescribed for Janus. Urho had agreed to this only if Caleb promised to also drink the lemon, pepper, and ginger tea, and to wash up regularly, coating his hands with the antiseptic lotion.
