“She gone be hurt either way. But you gotta choose. Do the shit on yo’ terms or somebody else gone do it for you. That somebody being Shayna.”
I stared at him. “I came here to clear my head. Not to get preached to.”
He smirked. “You came to me. You want Buck or Pops to give it to you instead?”
“Fuck no.”
“Exactly.”
I looked back toward the house. Through the glass, I saw Kasha handing Jet a sippy cup and Jace posted up near the fridge, scrolling his phone.
“You built all that,” I said low.
“Yeah.”
“That shit look peaceful.”
“It is,” he said. “But it came with sacrifice and choices. You gone have that shit, too, bro. Fix yo’ other shit first, though.”
I nodded slowly, like my head had weight.
We sat there for a while, neither of us saying much.
Stacks finally stood and hit my shoulder. “You’ll do what you always do. Handle it.”
I sat there alone, staring at the smoke rising from the ashtray, wondering if handling it would come with a cost I couldn’t afford.
***
I didn’t head home right away. I drove a couple blocks, cut the engine, and just sat there in the silence of my truck, the city low and humming outside the window. Streetlights buzzed. Headlights passed. But inside my truck, it was still, but my mind was everything but. I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes.
Liberty.
Even just thinking her name felt strange. Like it didn’t belong in my mouth yet. Like saying it out loud would make it real before I was ready to claim it.
She might be mine…She might not be.
But that kid existed either way. A whole little girl with my blood—or maybe not—walking around while I spent years behind bars thinking the only damage I left behind was scars and burnt bridges. Shayna kept her from me. And yeah, I was pissed. Still was. But now? Now I was scared. Scared of what the truth would mean. Scared of what it could cost me. Scared of the look on Mel’s face when I finally dropped the bomb she didn’t even see coming. I pulled out my phone and looked at the picture I had Shayna send me. It was like looking at a smaller, female version of myself with a half-smile that looked too familiar. I stared at it for what seemed like forever. Same nose. Same eyes. Same quiet defiance in her stare. That shit hit deep. I closed my phone and dropped it in my lap. Mel was waiting for me at home. Probably sitting on the couch in one of my hoodies, eating pickles or something sweet, rubbing her belly like she always did. And I was about to walk in there with all this shit on my chest.
But not tonight. I didn’t have it in me. Not yet. I turned the key in the ignition, stared through the windshield, and whispered to myself. “Handle it.” Then I drove home slowly, wondering how long I could keep this secret to myself.
6
Chapter Six
Mel
I wasn’t gone sit here and pretend like I ain’t notice the way Kilo’s been moving lately. Yeah, he still kissed me, rubbed my belly, made sure I ate—but it all felt like a routine. Like he was going through the motions instead of really being with me.
He didn’t stop loving me. I knew that. But love don’t mean shit when the person you need won’t talk to you. He was in the house, but not in the moment. Present, but unplugged. I’d catch him staring off, jaw clenched like he was at war with something in his head, and when I asked, it was always“I’m good, Mel.”
Lies. And I was tired of trying to figure out if the silence meant he was trying to protect me—or push me away.
By the time I pulled up to lunch with Nic, Kasha, and Sophi, my nerves were already fried. They were posted at our usual spot, cackling about something Kasha said. I slid into the booth with a sigh and dropped my phone on the table.
“You good?” Kasha asked.
I didn’t respond.
